Last time we looked at learning biblical masculinity and femininity, and prior to that we looked at growing in godly character. Being a part of a healthy church is the third component to preparing for marriage. Remember though that these first three are applicable to ALL Christians even if they have the spiritual gift of singleness.
Growth in godliness and manhood or womanhood is
meant to happen in discipleship relationships. What I mean is a relationship in
which a young man finds a more mature, godly man to help him learn and grow and
a younger woman does the same with an older woman. This is why Paul commands
Titus to see to it that older men and women are instructing the younger men and
women in the things we have been discussing (see Titus 2).
These discipleship relationships don’t have to be
formal, but they will not happen without some intentionality. First, you must
be part of a local body of Christians. The New Testament knows nothing of a
lone ranger Christian.[1]
Second, you need to spend time with fellow church members. Third, you need to
be teachable. That is you need to have a humility in which you do not assume
you already know everything about the Christian life, and you must not be
defensive when challenged in your thinking or behavior. Finally, you need to
have open and honest discussions with a few members you are close to about your
struggles, joys, and questions you have.
If you are not part of a local body of believers, why not commit to a healthy church today?[3] If you already are a member, are you exercising your gifts? Are you participating in the life of the body? Or, are you isolating yourself because of your marital status? I understand that the body of Christ often fails to make singles feel like they have a place, but, don’t let that stop you from doing what God has called you to do. Don’t let your perceptions or self-pity stop you from serving.
Are You Preparing for Marriage?
Every Christian must be growing in godliness, living as God designed you, and functioning in the body of Christ. These are not nice add-ons for the truly spiritual. This is simply faithful Christian living
For those of you interested in marriage, you are probably still wondering how you should go about preparing specifically for marriage. In the next few posts, we will look at the last two points which apply more specifically to the subset of Christian singles who are interested in marriage.
This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.
[1]
Here is some evidence for that. 1. The New Testament letters
are written to churches or church leaders. 2. Commands to leaders in the church
to shepherd the flock means there must be a flock to be shepherded. 3. The “one
another” commands (ie. love one another, serve one another, etc.) require you
to be in constant fellowship with Christians in the church.
[2]
1 Cor. 12:14-15- “For the body does not consist of one member
but of many. 15 If the foot should say,
‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it
any less a part of the body.”
[3] If you need
help figuring out what a healthy church looks like, according to the Bible,
then check out “What are the 9 Marks?” at www.9marks.org.
Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies.
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