Does the Bible Give a Method for Seeking a Spouse?

Seek a Spouse with God-Honoring Methods

Let me start out by saying that I do not have “the biblical method for finding a spouse.” Sorry to disappoint some of you. The Bible simply does not offer a method. It does describe plenty of methods, but I don’t think these descriptions are intended to be emulated.

Think for example of the way Adam found Eve. God put him to sleep and formed her from his rib (Gen. 2:21-22). I am pretty sure you should not take this as your plan for finding a mate (you will be waiting forever). Or, think of the method used by the tribe of Benjamin, in the Old Testament. They had a bunch of men and no women to marry them. So, they waited in ambush to kidnap a bunch of single women who were dancing at a festival (Judges 21:16-23). I do not recommended this method (it will land you in prison).

I could go on, but the point is that there is not some biblical command on how to find a spouse. All of the methods we could look at in the Bible are descriptive, not prescriptive. The context of each situation makes this clear. The Bible does not promote dating, courting, arranged marriages or any other method.

That being said, it is not as though the Bible has nothing to say on the subject. The Bible may not be a road map for us here, but it is a compass giving us general, guiding principles that we can apply to our cultural ways of doing things. In the West, we primarily use the method of dating. We have already discussed many things which would apply to how we think about relationships in general. Here, however, I want to zoom in on how to apply biblical truth to the question of methods -- specifically, dating.  Does the Bible give us any direction when it comes to issues of whom we can date or how to pursue a dating relationship? 

To be Continued...

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles. 

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