Finding a "Good Thing:" Praying for a Spouse

In the last post, I pointed out that finding a spouse is probably more and less complicated than we make it out to be. Now, let's start to look at some simple, biblical principles we can apply to this complex art of finding a spouse. The first is prayer. 

Pray

I believe prayer is one of the most neglected and abused means of grace. It is easy to abuse prayer by turning it into a magic rabbit’s foot or a bell we ring to get God to come be our cosmic butler. On the other hand, it is often neglected because we assume that prayer really doesn’t do anything. “If God has a sovereign plan, then why should I pray?” the reasoning goes.

There are several reasons we must pray. First, we have a relationship with the living God who is our Father (Matt. 6:9). He is not some force. He cares for us and calls us to relate to Him in prayer (Matt. 7:8-11). Second, God commands us to pray (1 Thess. 5:17). Third, prayer is the means through which God does His sovereign work. God is sovereign over the outcomes and the way in which He accomplishes those outcomes. God sovereignly causes us to pray and uses those prayers in accomplishing exactly what He intends to do.

Therefore, we should pray, and that includes praying for a godly spouse. We should pray with faith that God can provide what we are requesting and that He delights to give good gifts to His children (Matt. 7:8-11). We should pray that God is at work in us, conforming us to the image of Christ. We should pray that He would help us to examine our own heart and motives in our pursuit of a spouse. We should ask Him to give us wisdom in deciding how to best order our relationships so that we faithfully love and serve those He has placed around us. And we should ask Him to give us a spouse that will help us glorify Him.

This does not mean He will give us a spouse when we want one. It does not mean He must give us a spouse at all. So, pray for God to give you the blessing of a spouse while trusting Him with your desires. 

Do not skip over this. And don’t see it merely as step one in finding a mate. Prayer is like breathing for the Christian. There may be times of more intense prayer because we are in circumstances that make us feel out of breath. There are times where prayer is more routine. But there is never a time when it stops unless you are dead (and then you shall see Him face to face).


This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles

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