Worry and Wedding Bands

For the introduction to this series on temptations faced by singles click here. 

Regret is a powerful word. It conjures up thoughts of loss, waste, and failure. While we all will probably have some sense of regret, I would hope to spare you it in the areas of wasted time and energy. Some of the greatest regrets that many older folks have revolve around past anxieties and poor stewardship of time and opportunities. Looking back on life it becomes clear that anxiety over the future actually sapped the life right out of the present – it wasted away strength and joy. It also becomes apparent that time wasted on unimportant things or being so busy that one could not focus on what really mattered devoured productive years of life and service to God. Let’s take a moment to look at the temptation towards anxiety and, in the next post, poor stewardship of time so that we might be equipped to resist them.

Anxiety and Fear Concerning the Future

Anxious thoughts can often present themselves in the following manner, “What if [insert some bad outcome] happens?” Fear takes that “what if…” thought and changes it into a statement such as, “I know this bad thing will happen, and I am fearful of it.” Perhaps you have found yourself tempted to worry and be fearful in this single period of life.

Maybe you are anxious that you will scare away Mr. or Miss Right. This leads you to constantly replay conversations you have had with potential dates and analyze everything that was said. Such anxiety ties you up in knots. Internally, you always feel nervous. Externally, you are not able to minister to those around you because you are so concerned with avoiding your worst fears – a further protracted state of singleness – that you are unable to genuinely care about those around you. Those of the opposite sex become either potential spouses or rejects rather than brothers and sisters to care for and serve with no strings attached.

Or maybe you are tempted to fear what the future will be like if the Lord never gives you a spouse. As a single woman you might be anxious about anything from how to take care of maintenance issues to who will to take care of you as you age. As a man you may fear lonely nights at home by yourself.

What is the cure? For starters, I would suggest reading Matthew 6:25-34 (though staring in v. 19 is a good idea).

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷ And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? ²⁸ And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹ yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰ But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹ Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.³⁴ “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

In this passage, Jesus speaks to crowds of people who had many “good” reasons to worry. For example, a drought could mean no food and subsequent starvation. This is not like today when we can just ship food in from thousands of miles away. But even in such a precarious spot, Jesus gives them better reasons not to worry. Take some time to read that passage and note the reasons He gives. For now, I want to look at the reason Jesus gives for why we worry.

The main reason we give into the temptation to worry is that we have “little faith” (Matt. 6:30). It is not necessarily that we have “no faith.”  What we need is a larger view of the God who cares. He oversees, in splendid fashion, the smallest parts of His creation. How much more will He oversee your life and care for you?  He knows what you need.

As the years go by and you remain single, you may be tempted to worry that you will never be married or have children. Realize that God’s plans are not thwarted by the passage of time; rather, all things unfold in His timing. So, do not be anxious, for which of you can add a wedding ring to your hand by worrying? 

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles. 

Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies.