God, Singleness, and Marriage: The Biblical Storyline and Singleness

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.  

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The Biblical Storyline and Singleness:

How Singleness is Redeemed

Have you ever read Genesis 2:18 and 1 Corinthians 7 back-to-back?

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Gen. 2:18)

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am… So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better (1 Cor. 7:8, 38).

Does this seem to contradict? At the beginning of the storyline, we read God saying “it is not good that man be alone” and then instituting marriage. But, by the time we get to the New Testament, we see Paul saying[1] that remaining unmarried is good and, in some circumstances, “better” than marriage. It seems that as the biblical storyline progresses, singleness goes from being “not good” to “good.”  How are we to make sense of this?

In the next two chapters, I want to spend some time trying to answer this question. In this chapter, we look at the big picture of the Bible and how marriage and singleness fit in to storyline of the Bible. We will examine why singleness was an unwelcomed experience in the Old Testament and how it became a potentially good status for New Testament believers. In the next chapter, we will zoom in on First Corinthians chapter seven to catch the biblical vision for how singleness should serve the glory of God.  

There is much at stake in understanding what the Bible has to say about singleness. A wrong view will result in singleness being wasted or marriage being idolized. A correct view will help you get a better grasp on the significance of both marriage and singleness in God’s plan for the universe. I pray this will help you better understand your own place in God’s plan.

The Big Picture of the Bible and Singleness

As we begin, it is important to understand that the Bible isn’t a compilation of wise sayings, wonderful poems, and detailed laws. It does include all those things, but the Bible is actually a unified story about God and His dealings with His creation. Like any good story, the plot continues to develop with each passing page and, in the Bible’s case, with each century of history.

As God’s plans and promises unfold, we find that marriage and singleness both end up serving the Kingdom of God in unique ways.  That is not, however, where the story starts. It begins with a focus on marriage and the offspring which marriage produces.  How, then, do we get to a point where marriage and singleness serve the Kingdom?

As we look at the role of singleness in the biblical storyline, I want to show you two reasons for the shift in the biblical view of singleness. The first reason has to do with the grand role marriage and offspring play in the drama of redemption[2] and the second deals with the differences in how individuals experienced the blessings of God in the Old Testament and New Testament. Here are summaries of these two points I will seek to demonstrate as we trace things through the biblical storyline:

1.      In the Old Testament, the promise of offspring (or “seed”) is central to the unfolding plan of redemption. In the New Testament, the fulfillment of this promise comes in Jesus Christ.

2.      In the Old Testament, believers personally experienced the blessings of God most tangibly and directly through marriage and the offspring it produced. In the New Testament, every believer experiences spiritual blessing in Jesus Christ.

These two points provide the explanation for how and why things change over the course of biblical history. As you will note, the explanation has to do with the fact that God’s plan to save a people for himself was designed to unfold over the span of time and covenants.[3] I will trace these two points through the Old, and then into the New Testament.[4]

The Old Testament: Marriage and Offspring Are Good, but Singleness Is Not

The Promised Seed and God’s Plan of Redemption

Early in the biblical narrative God says he will make for Adam a helper compatible to him, namely woman (Gen. 2:15). Marriage is God’s design, and it is intended to provide companionship and the ability to “be fruitful and multiply” as man and woman fulfill their God-given role of ruling the Earth (Gen 1:28, 2:18). This first couple becomes the parents of the entire human race.

God made Adam and Eve holy and happy. But things quickly go downhill. In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve are tempted by Satan and rebel against God. In the aftermath of this sin, God pronounces curses on all the parties involved. Physical and spiritual death is the consequence of sin. There is now a need to be saved from God’s just wrath against sin.

However, God gives a ray of sunlight in the gloom of judgment. While cursing the serpent, who is Satan (cf. Revelation 12:9), God states that the offspring, or seed of the woman, will one day crush Satan’s head (Gen. 3:15).  This is the first glimpse into God’s plan to redeem a people from sin and Satan, and it involves the idea of offspring and, by extension, marriage.

From Genesis 3:15 through the rest of the Old Testament, God’s people await the promised seed of the woman who will come and defeat the ancient foe. This reality of a promised seed adds a new, redemptive urgency to the earlier command for man and woman to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28).

The Seed of the Woman Continues: The Abrahamic Covenant

When we get to Genesis 12, we find that the line of the promised seed zooms in on a man named Abram. God makes some pretty big promises to Abram, declaring,

And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. ³ I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed (Gen. 12:2-3).

God promises to make Abram a great nation, a great name, and a blessing to all the families of the earth. It becomes clear that offspring are central to God’s promises to Abram, and to the world, when we see God saying things like:

Behold, my covenant is with you, and you shall be the father of a multitude of nations.  No longer shall your name be called Abram, but your name shall be Abraham, for I have made you the father of a multitude of nations.  I will make you exceedingly fruitful, and I will make you into nations, and kings shall come from you.  And I will establish my covenant between me and you and your offspring after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your offspring after you (Gen. 17:4-7, emphasis added).

As you continue reading through Genesis, you will find that marriage and the offspring it could

produce play a major role in the storyline and the anticipated fulfillment of God’s promises.[5]

Personally Experiencing God’s Blessings in the Old Testament: The Mosaic Covenant

Fast forwarding to Moses, we find that God’s people, now the nation Israel, are living in Egypt. While the people are in Egypt, they are blessed with many offspring (Ex. 1:7), but they are not in the land God promised them. In fact, they are enslaved under Pharaoh. So, God acts to redeem His people from Egypt.

Once the Israelites are brought out of exile they are given the law.[6] This is what is referred to as the Old Covenant. In the law, God promises blessings when the people obey. These blessings include physical offspring (Deut. 28:11). God also promises curses for disobedience. One of the curses for high-handed disobedience was that God would blot out a person’s name (Deut. 29:18-20). If your name didn’t continue (i.e., if your offspring didn’t live on) you would be erased from the tangible experience of God’s blessings. Barry Danylak summarizes it like this:

Having one’s name ‘blotted out’ (e.g., Deut. 29:20) was the capstone of personal disasters. No surviving children in ancient Israel meant the loss of one’s inheritance, name, and covenantal blessings. Conversely, marriage and offspring were fundamentally necessary for the reception of all the covenantal blessings.[7]

So, in the Mosaic (i.e., Old) Covenant, we see that believers personally experienced the blessings of God in a tangible way through offspring.  Legitimate offspring, of course, required marriage.

The Seed of the Woman Continues: The Davidic Covenant

As we press on in the biblical story, we come to King David, another significant person in the progression of God’s plan of redemption. In Second Samuel seven, God makes some big promises (another covenant) to David and his offspring.

If you compare this covenant to the promises made to Abraham in Genesis, it becomes clear that the line of promise is continuing through David. God promises to make David a great name (2 Sam. 7:9), to raise up his offspring (v. 12), and to establish his kingdom forever (v. 12-13).[8] Thus, the line of promise has zeroed in on David and his son.[9] What is new is that this long awaited offspring will not only be a Savior, but also the King of God’s people. It becomes obvious, however, that David’s immediate son, Solomon, will not be the ultimate kingly seed. At this point, God’s people are still waiting for the promised offspring.

What We Have Seen so Far

Marriage, and the offspring it could produce, has been central in the overarching story of God’s plan to redeem people. The people are awaiting the promised seed. Marriage and offspring have also been central in the everyday lives of individual Israelites because it was through these that they experienced many of the covenant blessings in tangible ways. This explains why marriage was considered a necessity for every person in the Old Testament. And this is why those who were single or barren were not envied. In fact, they were pitied by others and often experienced great sadness.[10]

Something New is Coming: The Prophets

When we get to the prophets, however, we begin to see that a change is coming. God unveils more details about the One who will come to redeem His people. And, in the process, He has some pretty amazing things to say about the barren and unmarried.

For starters, in Isaiah 54:1, we read

“Sing, O barren one, who did not bear;
    break forth into singing and cry aloud,
    you who have not been in labor!
For the children of the desolate one will be more
    than the children of her who is married,” says the Lord.

In light of what we have seen so far in the storyline, this is an astonishing call to singing.  The one who is barren, without offspring, is called to sing. In this passage, God is referring to Israel as a barren one. She has broken the Mosaic Covenant and is experiencing the curses God promised.

But, the barren woman is to sing because her children will be “more than the children of her who is married.” This is not referring to having physical babies. Why do I say that? Because Paul makes it clear, in the New Testament, that this is the promise of spiritual children.

In contrasting the New Covenant with the Old, Paul quotes this Isaiah passage in Galatians 4:26-28 when he says,

But the Jerusalem above is free, and she is our mother.  For it is written,

“Rejoice, O barren one who does not bear;
    break forth and cry aloud, you who are not in labor!
For the children of the desolate one will be more
    than those of the one who has a husband.”

 Now you, brothers, like Isaac, are children of promise.

In other words, God makes the barren one fruitful by bringing forth many “children of promise” (i.e., spiritual children) into the family of God. This is why Paul tells these Gentiles (i.e., non-Jewish believers) that this prophecy is fulfilled in their being included as “children of the promise.”[11] This is one vista of the coming changes.

In Isaiah 56, there is yet another glimpse of change and hope for those who are not married. There we read about “the eunuch.” A eunuch is a man who is unable to have children. Usually it was a man who had been taken captive to serve in a king’s court and was castrated so that he would have undivided attention to serve the king (i.e., he would have no family of his own).

In the Old Testament, being a eunuch was not a good thing. It meant being kept out of the assembly of God (Deut. 23:1) and missing out on the blessings of physical descendants. But, in Isaiah, we see an amazing statement of coming joy for the eunuch:

and let not the eunuch say,
    “Behold, I am a dry tree.”
 For thus says the Lord:
“To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
    who choose the things that please me
    and hold fast my covenant,
 I will give in my house and within my walls
    a monument and a name
    better than sons and daughters;
I will give them an everlasting name
    that shall not be cut off. (Is. 56:3b-5)

This one who was considered a “dry tree” has reason to rejoice if he belongs to God. God will give him “a monument and a name better than sons and daughters” and “an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.” This is incredible. This eunuch is unable to experience the physical blessings in the Old Testament, but when God’s salvation comes in its fullness (Is. 56:1) he will experience blessings greater than he could imagine.

So, change is coming. Blessings are on the horizon for “singles.” Yet we are left wondering how this change comes about. To see how, we must go back to earlier sections of Isaiah and pick up the thread of the coming seed and redemption.

In Isaiah 7:14, we read that “the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel [which means God with us].”  Even though Israel has been unfaithful, God will be faithful to his promises to Abraham. And the hope rests in this Divine Son. Furthermore, this Divine Son will also sit “on the throne of David” (Is. 9:7).  But, how will this Son bring about the promised redemption?

The answer is found in Isaiah 53 where we read of the “suffering servant” who is crushed by the LORD as a guilt offering for the sins of God’s people (v. 4-6, 10).^[12] This servant suffers the wrath of God to redeem sinners. He is “cut off out of the land of the living” (Is. 53:8b). That means he dies with no offspring and under the curse of God’s law. But, in verse 10 we see things take a turn. We read,

when his soul [i.e., the servant] makes an offering for guilt,
    he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. (Is. 53:10b)

The servant lives even after his death!  How else could he “see his offspring” and “prolong his days” after he is crushed by the LORD?  He dies to deal with the sins of his people, yet he lives and creates a people for himself (i.e., “his offspring”). As Barry Danylak puts it,

Whereas the servant dies as a cursed man without family or progeny, in his death he becomes exalted of God (Is. 52:13) and blessed with an abundance of spiritual offspring who visibly emerge through the results of the obedience of his sacrificial death.^[13]

So, the joy for barren Israel and barren individuals comes after this servant has suffered, died, and risen to see His offspring.

The New Testament: Marriage and Singleness Are Good

In case you are unsure who this servant is, the New Testament makes it clear that Jesus is the servant and the child we read about in Isaiah.^[14] Jesus is the Seed of the woman who crushes Satan.[15] He is the son of Adam, Abraham, and David.[16]  With his arrival, the fulfillment of God’s promised redemption comes. Additionally, the floodgates of promised blessings for the barren and the eunuch break open. 

A New Perspective on Singleness Arrives

The first hint of this deluge of blessings comes as Jesus discusses marriage and divorce in Matthew 19:1-12. Jesus makes a statement that we often gloss over. It is one which would have been utterly shocking to His original audience. Remember, the Old Testament has had a heavy focus on marriage and childbearing. In this context, Jesus says,

“Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.  For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it” (Matt. 19:11-12 emphasis added).

He says there are three classes of “eunuch.” Two of which we have seen before in the Old Testament: 1. Eunuchs who were born that way, and 2. Eunuchs who have been made that way by men. Now, with His coming, there are eunuchs who “have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” In other words, now that the Seed has come, there is actually a category of “singles” that choose to be single for the purpose of serving the Kingdom of God! 

The New Covenant and Spiritual Offspring

Now that Jesus has come and died and rose from the dead, the plan of redemption has entered into a new phase -- offspring are no longer merely physical. At the end of the Gospels Jesus gives the command to seek spiritual offspring when he says, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations” (Matt. 28:19a). The barren and eunuch and all singles can now be fruitful by seeking to have spiritual children through evangelism and discipleship. It is clear that Paul, a single man, did this. He said to the Corinthian believers, “I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Cor. 4:15b).

The New Covenant and the Believer’s Blessings

In addition, the New Covenant changes the way individual believers experience the blessings of God. Now physical progeny and inheritance are not central. The spiritual family of God takes priority over physical family. Our love for Jesus must outweigh any other relationship. Jesus said, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matt. 10:37).[17] The new importance of singleness does not mean “being alone” is now good (cf. Gen. 2:15). It means that in Christ we have a new family and are not alone, even when we are unmarried.

The New Covenant means blessings are for all who will obey God’s Word, even if they are barren. In Luke 11:27-28, we see Jesus teaching this.

As he said these things, a woman in the crowd raised her voice and said to him, “Blessed is the womb that bore you, and the breasts at which you nursed!”  But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” (see also Mark 3:31-35)

“True blessing is not in having children and a family (even having perfect children like Jesus!), but rather in truly hearing the word of God and keeping it.”[18] Those who hear and respond to the gospel of Jesus Christ now have every spiritual blessing guaranteed for eternity (Eph. 1:3-14).

Those who are saved by the gospel have a heavenly inheritance. This was true for the Old Testament saints, too. The difference is that we who live after the New Covenant has taken effect have the Spirit indwelling us as the guarantee of our inheritance. So, even if we lack a spouse and children, we have an internal witness that the blessings of God are ours. This is what Paul says of Christians:

In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit,  who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory (Eph. 1:13-14).

New Testament believers can clearly see our inheritance is secured in the gospel by the Holy Spirit.

Putting it All Together

We began by comparing Genesis 2:15 and 1 Corinthians 7:8 and 38. We asked how it was possible to understand these passages together. How is it that singleness goes from “not good” to “good?” Now we have seen the answer.

Jesus is the Promised Offspring that Brought about the Promised Redemption

For starters, the seed of the woman and the Abrahamic and Davidic covenants find their fulfillment in Jesus.  Jesus brings in the New Covenant, and there is something truly “new” about the New Covenant. In the Old, the redemptive storyline was all about promises being made and preparing the way for the fulfillment of God’s promises through one nation. Now that the promised Offspring has arrived, the focus is on going to tell the good news to all the nations.  This is why we go from the command “be fruitful and multiply” in the physical sense (Gen 1:28) to “go therefore and make disciples of all nations” (Matt. 28:19a). 

Jesus Secures Spiritual Blessings for Believers

Under the Old Covenant, the blessings of God were most clearly experienced by physical means: having offspring and an inheritance in the Promised Land. In the New Covenant, the blessings of God are experienced in terms of spiritual family and offspring. In addition, every believer has an inheritance from God that they can see by faith: “having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints” (Eph. 1:18).

Therefore Marriage and Singleness Are Valuable

Perhaps, a word of “balance” is helpful here. This “fresh” awareness regarding singleness is not meant to say that marriage is done away with or unimportant. Jesus has a high view of marriage (Matt. 19:1-9), and Paul says it was designed to put the relationship of Jesus and His bride, the Church, on display (Eph. 5:31-32). So, it isn’t that marriage is spiritualized away and of minor importance.

Instead, under the New Covenant, marriage and singleness both serve God’s plan of redemption. Also, married and single believers both experience the fullness of the New Covenant blessings through Christ at this very moment. With the arrival of the Seed and the redemption He brings, singleness was also redeemed.

Dear brother or sister, do you see that singleness is not a hindrance to serving God or experiencing His blessings? If He has redeemed you then thank Him for the innumerable blessings that are yours in Christ this very moment. Spend time thinking about how you can serve His Kingdom with your singleness. The single life can and should be a rich and full way of life for some Christians. Jesus redeemed it.

Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies. 

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[1] Throughout this book I will refer to “Paul” saying or writing things, but I want to be sure you understand that God is the divine author of all Scripture Who worked through human authors (2 Tim. 3:16).

[2] By “redemption” I refer to God’s plan to save a people for Himself. This salvation is from 1) God’s own wrath against their sin, 2) from their bondage to Satan and sin, and 3) their spiritual deadness to the things of God.

[3] The Old Testament deals primarily with the Old Covenant that God made with the nation Israel. The New Testament is an account of the New Covenant that brings about the fulfillment of the Old, through Jesus Christ. My assumption is you are familiar with the basic storyline of the Bible. If not, you may want to check out the book by Mark Dever entitled, What Does God Want of Us Anyway: A quick overview of the whole Bible.  

[4] I am indebted to Barry Danylak’s book Redeeming Singleness: How the storyline of Scripture affirms the single life for shaping much of my thinking in this area.

[5] See Danylak Redeeming Singleness, pg. 49-52 where he deals with Genesis 26:2-5, 24; 28:13-15; 35:10-12.  An important side note about these promises is that God himself must act to bring about His promises. Many of the women central to redemptive history are barren for long periods of time before God finally opens their womb. God shows that He is sovereign thus eliminating any room for human boasting (see Sarah [Gen. 11:30, 16:1, 17:15-16, 21:1-7], Rebekah [Gen. 25:21], Rachel [Gen. 29:31]).  

[6] The law does not supersede the promises God made in Gen. 3:15 or to Abraham (See Galatians 3:16-18). “Why then the law? It was added because of transgressions, until the offspring should come to whom the promise had been made” (Gal. 3:19a).  That is, the law comes to reveal the people’s sinfulness in clear and specific ways so that they will see their need for God’s salvation (cf. Romans 3:20).

[7] Danylak, pg 69. He goes on to say, “Given this fact, it is not surprising to find within the Torah codified provisions to mitigate the likelihood of such a disaster occurring. One such provision was levirate marriage.” Levirate marriage was when an unmarried man was called on to marry his deceased brother’s wife if they had no children. The idea was that he was to raise up at least one offspring to carry on his dead brother’s name and inheritance.

[8] Cf. Genesis 12:2 (name great and great nation), 13:16 (offspring), and 13:15 (land).

[9] 2 Sam 7:12-14a “When your days are fulfilled and you lie down with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring after you, who shall come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom. He shall build a house for my name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever.  I will be to him a father, and he shall be to me a son.”

[10] See Sara in Gen 16:1-2, Rachel in Gen. 29:1, Hannah in 1 Samuel 1:5-7.

[11] As the ESV Study Bible notes on Isaiah 54:1, “The old covenant people of God, who failed to bless the world, were like a barren woman. Under the new covenant, God’s people become the mother of a growing family.” On another note, this should also give great hope to those who are married but barren.

[12] This servant is the same one we were reading about in the early chapters of Isaiah. Cf. Is 53:2 with 11:1-10 where the word “young plant” is synonymous with “shoot” and both verses use the term “root.” It is clear that the servant of Isaiah 53 is the root from David’s line.

[13] Danylak, pg. 101.

[14] For starters, see 1 Pet. 2:24, 2 Cor. 5:21, Matt 26:63, Acts 8:32, Rom. 5:18-19.

[15] See Matt 4:1, Mark 3:23, Jn. 13:27, Rev. 20:10.

[16] See  Luke 3:38, Matt. 1:1.

[17] This does not mean, however, we are to ignore our families (cf. 1 Tim. 5:8).

[18] Danylak, pg. 169.