A Biblical Vision for God Glorifying
Singleness:
How singleness serves the Kingdom of
God Pt. 1
This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.
So far we have seen how singleness fits into the
biblical storyline, and we have begun to see that it takes on new significance when
we get into the New Covenant. We have seen that singleness has been redeemed, but
we have not examined the most crucial passage which explains the purpose of
singleness in the New Testament.
In this post, we will look at First Corinthians seven. [1] We
will examine the “gift” of singleness, the principle of living the life God
assigned to you, and, in the next post, we will look at the purpose of singleness in the New Covenant. As we do
this, we will see the amazing service and joy that singleness can bring into the
Christian life. We will catch a biblical vision for what redeemed singleness
looks like. Let’s start by examining the “gift” of singleness.
The
“Gift” of Singleness (1 Cor. 7:7)
Have you ever “re-gifted?” You know, when you
receive a gift that makes you say, “Really, you shouldn’t have” in the most literal
sense of the phrase. Be honest. Surely, you have received a sweater that was
not really what you wanted (though I’m sure it came in handy for the annual,
ugly sweater party). Did you eventually “re-gift” that to another person?
Paul seems to say that singleness is a gift in 1
Corinthians 7:7 when he says, in the context of talking about marriage, “I wish
that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one
kind and one of another.” Paul is a
single man who is whole-heartedly devoted to serving God. And he wishes all could be like that, but he recognizes
not all have the same gifting from God.[2]
If you are single, maybe your response to this is
the same as when you receive an unwanted Christmas sweater. Perhaps you think, “Is
there a gift receipt so I can return it or a way to re-gift this thing?” Or
maybe the thought of singleness being a gift excites you. Either way, we need
to understand what the gift of singleness is and what it is not.
Two
Different Types of “Gifts”: General Blessing and Spiritual Enablement
We use the word “gift” to mean at least two
different things in Christian circles. Sometimes we mean a gracious blessing
God gives us (see James 1:17). For example, we might say that our friend is a
gift from God. In that statement, we recognize him or her as a blessing to us
that God sovereignly placed in our lives. We didn’t deserve it, and God gave
it. We may also refer to our privileges
as Christians, such as access to God’s throne in prayer, as a gift. In other words, this first usage of the
term “gift” is a general blessing to us as individual believers which does not
require a unique empowerment of the Spirit of God in our lives.
At other times, however, we may mean a spiritual gifting (see 1 Cor. 12:4). For
example, a person may have the gift of teaching God’s Word in a way that is
clear and powerful. In this case we are
referring to a spiritual ability, empowered by the Spirit, which is given explicitly
for the good of the Body of Christ (see 1 Cor. 12:7).
What
Type of “Gift” is Singleness?
So, in what sense does Paul think of singleness as a
“gift?” In this context, I believe he
refers to it as a spiritual empowerment from God (a spiritual gifting). One reason I think this is the case is later
in 1 Corinthians Paul gives a full treatment on the topic of spiritual gifts.
So it fits the context of this letter.
The main reason I think this, however, is that Jesus
seems to affirm that there is a special gifting (not a general blessing) when
he says, “…there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of
the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is
able to receive this receive it” (Matt. 19:12 emphasis added). In other
words, not everyone has this unique, Spirit-empowered gift, but if the Spirit
enables you to receive it you should.
This is not to say that every unmarried person has
the spiritual gift Paul and Jesus refer to. It is not singleness per se that is the spiritual gift. Barry
Danylak summarizes the gift well when he writes,
The charisma [i.e.,
gift] of singleness is a Spirit-enabled freedom to serve the King and the
kingdom wholeheartedly, without undue distraction for the longings of sexual
intimacy, marriage, and family.[3]
So, the spiritual gift of singleness isn’t merely
being unmarried. It is a purposeful singleness that is not distracted by the human longings for marriage. Just to
be clear, this does not mean these individuals have no longings for marriage.
It simply means God empowers them to live without a strong urge (i.e., one that is often distracting) for marriage.[4] The gifting of singleness is a divine enablement
to give undivided attention to serving the Lord. It is freedom from the
distractions of a strong urge for physical family in order to benefit the Body
of Christ.
Therefore, the gift of singleness is not merely
being unmarried in God’s providence. You may find that you are unmarried but
have a strong desire to be married. As Jesus pointed out, there are some who
are eunuchs not by choice but because of circumstances (Matt. 19:12).
Even if this describes you, I believe your
singleness is a gift from God. Let me say it again because it may have shocked
you. God even intends times of singleness that you may not desire as a good
gift. It is a gift in the first (general) sense described above. God gives His
children the general blessing of trials. Not that suffering in itself is good
but that what God intends and accomplishes through it is for our good (Rom.
8:28, 5:1-5). So, you may not have the spiritual gift of singleness, but you
can and should joyfully receive it as a gift from your Father (James 1:2).
Whether or not you have the spiritual gift of
singleness, Paul has an important principle for you about how to understand
your current status of being unmarried.
The
Principle: Live Where God Has You (1 Cor. 7:17-24)
When we come to verses 17-24, Paul digresses to give
us a general principle. That principle, which comes in the context of Paul
discussing marriage, applies to all Christians. It is succinctly stated at the
beginning and end of this section of verses.
Only let each
person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has
called him (v. 17).
So, brothers, in
whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God (v. 24).
In between these two statements, Paul gives two
illustrations of his point. The first refers to the issue of whether or not a
person was circumcised before becoming a believer in Jesus (i.e., whether or
not they were a Jew or Gentile at the time of their conversion). The second
discusses those who become Christians but are slaves. In both cases, he is
basically saying, “Your status does not affect your standing before God, so
don’t focus your whole life around trying to change those things.”
The main point, therefore, is that God is sovereign
over the circumstances of our lives. He graciously oversees each detail
including our ethnicity, social standing, opportunities (and lack thereof), and,
yes, our marital status. And, none of these circumstances will prohibit us from
serving God or enjoying the fullness of His blessings.
He bought us with a price, and we are to serve Him
no matter what our God given circumstance is in life (v. 23). We are to “lead
the life” that the Lord assigns us (v. 17). God does not consider one condition
or status as better than others in terms of our ability to serve Him. If this were true He would change our
circumstances. To summarize, “Whether a Christian is married or single,
circumcised or uncircumcised, slave or free, makes no difference to God…so
there is no need to change.”[5]
While a change of status is not necessary, and must
not inhibit contented living before God, that does not mean that a change of
status is prohibited. This is clear when Paul tells the slaves, “But if you can
gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity” (v. 20b). Paul makes this
same point in other parts of this chapter when he says that it is not wrong to
get married (v. 8-9, 28).
If you have a desire to get married, what
implications does this have for you? You should not make your life revolve
around finding a spouse. Instead, lead the life God has called you to at this
moment. Singleness does not prohibit or limit you from serving God. Remain where you are “with God” (v. 24).
Those last two words should bring great encouragement and exhortation for you.
Be encouraged that you are not alone even if you are single. Be exhorted to
make your focus in life on staying near God.
NEXT POST: we will examine how singleness serves the Kingdom of God according to 1 Corinthians.
[1]
This will not be an exposition of 1 Corinthians 7. That is beyond the scope of
this book. The goal is just to focus on some of what this chapter tells us
about singleness.
[2] It
is clear this is not a command and that Paul is not slighting the value of marriage.
I say that because he just finished talking about the goodness of sexuality in
marriage (and only in marriage) in vv. 1-6.
[3]
Danylak pg. 200.
[4] I
do not believe God necessarily gives you a spiritual gift and never replaces it
with others. He gives gifts which are needed in carrying out his work. In other
words, a person gifted with teaching isn’t simply one who is humanly skilled in
teaching. Instead, they have the Spirit of God empowering them. But, God, in
his wisdom, may determine a different need and give a new gift to that person
for the good of the body he is in. The same is true of singleness. If you sense
the gifting of singleness, do not assume that God could never give you a
spouse.
[5]
Ciampa, Roy and Brian Rosner, The First
Letter to the Corinthians, in the Pillar NT Commentary Series, ed. DA
Carson. Pg. 397.
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