Life in the Present Age

Friday, June 5, 2015

Should Intimacy Increase as "Level of Commitment" Increases?

In the last post, which is part of a series on temptations in the single season, I began discussing the need for sexual purity. Specifically I addressed the fact that sex is designed as a sign of the covenant of marriage and is therefore only for one man and one woman in a marriage relationship.

Now, granted that sex is sinful for those who are not married, how should our level of physical intimacy look prior to marriage? Is it OK to become more physically involved as our dating relationship progresses (as long as we avoid “going all the way)?” Is our physical intimacy proportionate to our level of commitment, finally reaching intercourse once we make the ultimate level of commitment?

I would argue that, given what we have said about the design and purpose of sex, the answer to those questions is a resounding “No!” I say this for several reasons.

First, physical intimacy is designed to lead towards sex. This is why a married couple calls things like passionate kissing “foreplay.” It is the on-ramp to the highway of intercourse. On-ramps are not designed for U-turns. They lead in one direction and are intended for acceleration.

Second, since sex is reserved for marriage, and since the Bible commands us to treat each other as sisters and brothers prior to marriage, physical intimacy levels do not increase as we move towards marriage. Instead, it stays at the level of brother and sister until after the covenant of marriage is enacted. At that point the sign of the covenant is joyfully expressed. This may seem a little abstract, so let me help with two graphs from an illustration by Michael Lawrence.[1]

In the first graph, we see the common perspective that intimacy increases as level of commitment increases. In the second, we see the biblical perspective. In this view, you treat one another as siblings until the marriage covenant, which testifies to the gospel of Jesus Christ, is enacted.

So, on a practical level, what type of physical interactions are appropriate? A good principle is to ask, “Is this something I would do with my flesh and blood brother or sister?” If the answer is “No,” then neither should you be doing it with one whom the Bible says is your brother or sister. That is why Paul says to treat women who you are not married to as mothers or sisters with absolute purity (1 Tim. 5:2).

Does this sound radical? I think it might, but not because it is untrue and incorrect. I think the reason it sounds radical is that we live in a culture which seems to deify relationships and sexuality. As Christians, we may see through many of the lies, but I wonder if we have been swayed more in this area by the world than by the Bible.

So, we must not commit fornication or engage in increasing levels of physical intimacy as our dating relationships progress, but that is not all the Bible says about sexual purity. We must also avoid the impurity of looking lustfully at others. Jesus said that this is the same as committing adultery because God sees not just our actions but our heart (Matt. 5:28). Holiness, then, requires purity in action and thought. And this extends to what we watch on TV, what we look at on the computer, what we read, and what we think.[2] As Romans 13:14 says, we are to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”

Does your view of sexuality line up with God’s purposes for it? Or are you tempted to believe the lies of the world? Will you trust the goodness of God and His design or will you trust the yearnings of your appetites (i.e., “it feels good so it must be right”)?

Conclusion

Brothers and sisters, beware that you do not imbibe the world’s philosophies (Jer. 2:13). You are strangers in a foreign land. You are citizens of heaven, and the ways of the world should often times look just as strange as the cultural differences you might experience when you visit another country. We ought to think carefully about what Christian love looks like in all of our relationships and see where worldly or selfish thinking has crept in. As citizens of God’s Kingdom we must be those who put God’s holiness and love on display.

I realize that some reading this may be filled with regret. Perhaps you have failed to live up to God’s standards of holiness in your past or current relationship. Remember that God’s grace does not ask you to undo the past. God’s grace calls you to rest fully in the righteous record of Jesus for you. It also changes you and enables you to be shaped progressively into the image of your righteous Christ (Titus 3:3-8).

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.

[1] This is from a talk that Mark Dever, Michael Lawrence, Scott Croft, and Matt Schmucker gave at a Desiring God conference. The talk was entitled, “Sex and the Single Man” and is available at www.desiringgod.org.

[2] If you struggle with sexual temptation (including pornography or masturbation), I recommend reading Josh Harris’ book Sex is Not the Problem (Lust is).

Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

The Call for Purity in Relationships

For the introduction to this series on temptations faced by singles click here.

As Christians, we are to display God’s character to one another and a watching world, therefore holiness is not optional for the Christian. We are ambassadors of the holy God of the universe, so we must be holy. Such holiness means living within the guidelines God has given us for sexuality and purity. Holiness involves more than that, but it is surely not less than that. In the season of singleness, temptations towards sexual sin can be strong. So, we would do well to prepare for facing them.

That God calls Christians, married and single, to sexual fidelity and purity is clear in Scripture. Here is one example from 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8:

³For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; ⁴that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, ⁵not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; ⁶that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. ⁷For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. ⁸Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you. (emphasis mine)

Verse six says that we must not “transgress and wrong” one another in the matter of purity. To transgress is to go beyond the proper limits of behavior. The Greek word for “wrong” means “to take advantage of, exploit, outwit, defraud, or cheat someone.”^{^[1]} To engage in sexual immorality or to look lustfully (or desire to have others think you look sexy) is to take advantage of others. It is to take what does not belong to you for selfish gain. This is the case whether it is their body or their special attention which should belong only to a (future) spouse. So, how can you avoid defrauding someone?

When it comes to sexual behavior, we are to relate in appropriate ways based on the relationships we have. Paul tells Timothy to treat older women like mothers and younger women like sisters, with all purity (1 Tim. 5:2). He tells Titus to make sure the older women instruct the younger women to be pure (Titus 2:5). This means that if you are a man, every woman who is not your wife, even if she is your girlfriend or fiancée, is in the category of “sister.” If you are a woman, every man who is not your husband is your “brother.” There is not a special category in which you can take the physical to the next level simply because you are “more committed” to each other. There is no category of “friend with benefits.” Being engaged does not change the fact that you are still unmarried. Your relationship is that of brother and sister.

Thinking that physical intimacy is simply commensurate to your level of commitment fails to understand the biblical view of marriage and sexuality. And what is the Biblical understanding of sex and marriage?

Sex is part of God’s good design for marriage. Marriage and sexuality are intended to put Jesus and his bride, the Church, on display.[2] This is why fornication[3] is so wrong. Read what theologian Dr. Russell Moore says about it:

Fornication isn’t merely “premarital.” Premarital is the language of timing, and with it we infer that this is simply the marital act misfired at the wrong time. But fornication is, both spiritually and typologically, a different sort of act from the marital act. That’s why the consequences are so dire.

Fornication pictures a different reality than the mystery of Christ presented in the one-flesh union of covenantal marriage. It represents a Christ who uses his church without joining her, covenantally and permanently, to himself. The man who leads a woman into sexual union without a covenantal bond is preaching to her, to the world, and to himself a different gospel from the gospel of Jesus Christ. And he is forming a real spiritual union, the Apostle Paul warns, but one with a different spirit than the Spirit of Christ (1 Cor. 6:15, 19).[4]

So, what is sex, biblically speaking? Sex is the God-honoring, service to your spouse that is the sign of your covenant relationship. Sex is the sign of the covenant. It reveals the covenant reality that the two are one flesh.

...we'll turn our attention to this question in the next post.

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.

^{^[1]}“πλεονεκτέω” in Arndt, W., Danker, F. W., & Bauer, W. A Greek-English lexicon of the New Testament and other early Christian literature (3rd ed.).

[2]There are other ways we put Christ on display. So, those who are single do not need to fear they will be unable to put Christ on display if they never marry. The single shows Christ by living a life that is undivided in devotion to Christ. Having joy in Christ and his kingdom, even when your own kingdom (family) is not being built puts the glory and worthiness of Christ on display to a world that only looks at the physical. See chapters 1-2 and the conclusion.

[3] See 1 Cor. 6:9 NASB, Heb. 13:4 NASB. Fornication is the biblical word for sexual immorality between unmarried people.

[4]“Premarital Sex?”, Accessed at www.russellmoore.com on June 6, 2013.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Friendship and Dating Pitfalls

For the introduction to this series on temptations faced by singles click here.

How does the world’s thinking about relationships differ from the biblical view? The worldly thinking we encounter in the United States is that relationships are some sort of game. It is common to single out someone of the opposite sex for an intimate friendship or dating relationship with no thought of marriage. Dating is simply a way to have fun and enjoy the companionship of a member of the opposite sex.

This, however, does not fit with the biblical picture. For starters, how does this model Christian love? Christ came to serve, not to be served. The “just have fun” model of dating is not focused on serving one another. It is, instead, enjoying the benefits of relationship with no desire to move towards the formal commitment of marriage.

“Formal commitment!? That seems to stifle love,” you say. However, I would argue that it is the context in which true love flourishes and is enjoyed. Look at God’s love towards us. He doesn’t just “go with the flow.” He intentionally pursues us. He makes a covenant, a formal promise, to have us as His people. And in this context we can bask in His love and have no reason to think He will abandon us. If we are to reflect God instead of the world, such a formal commitment must be the aim and goal of any dating relationship.

Additionally, spending regular one-on-one time with a member of the opposite sex (whether you call it dating or not) is not loving.[1] For one thing, one or both of you probably hope that this relationship is heading somewhere beyond friendship. This is probably the case even if you both verbalize a desire to “just be friends.”

Even if it were true that you both really only wanted to be close friends it is not loving, because, to put it crassly, it takes the other person “off the market.” What I mean is that it keeps other potential men from pursuing her and causes other potential women to assume he is not interested in them. It appears to outsiders that you are an “item,” so no one else makes a move and everyone is confused. Even if you tell people that you and your friend are not an item, you must wonder if a prospective date would be interested in being with you while you are closely relating to another member of the opposite sex. I am sure my wife would not be happy if I did that, and I think the same would go for those who are pursuing marriage. It seems like a double standard to argue otherwise.

You may argue, “But I have Christian freedom since no Bible verse prohibits this type of recreational dating.” I would say that the biblical principles of love do oppose such relationships. Paul said in Galatians 3:3-4,

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

If what I have said is true, then you must honestly ask yourself if your intimate friendships with members of the opposite sex are actually a loving service to one another.

Let me be clear. I am not saying that you cannot be friends and show Christian love to members of the opposite sex. I am saying that you cannot be close, intimate friends with a member of the opposite sex without being either foolish or selfish.[2]

If you desire such companionship, then pursue the security of a marriage covenant to enjoy such intimacy. If you do not desire marriage, then develop friendships with members of the same sex who can hold you accountable and encourage you in your walk with the Lord. Then, find ways to serve members of the opposite sex that do not single them out unnecessarily. Spend time in groups studying the Bible, praying, serving, and having wholesome fun.

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.

[1] Some may justify it by the fact that the other person wants this type of relationship too. However, this is not the litmus test for what type of behavior is becoming for a citizen of heaven. Rather, the true test of love is found in what God says Christian love looks like.

[2] To clarify, by “close, intimate friend,” I mean someone who spend a lot of one-on-one time with, share your deepest feelings and thoughts and desires with, etc.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Dangers of the Single Season: Temptation to Live Like the World

For the introduction to this series on temptations faced by singles click here.

Have you ever been to another country? I have been to a few and every time I am quickly reminded that I am in a place very different from home. The language, cultural icons, sights, and smells are all so different.

In a similar way, we must realize that we Christians are not in our home country. We are strangers in this fallen world. Our citizenship is in heaven. Therefore, we are to live in this world, but we are to be strangers in it. We are not to

love the world or the things in the world…for all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world (1 John 2:15-16).

“World,” in this passage, refers to the ways of thinking and acting which are in opposition to godly ways of thinking and behaving. So, we are not to love or embrace ways of thinking and living which are contrary to God’s Word. We are to live as citizens of the Kingdom of God rather than citizens of the domain of darkness. We are ambassadors, or representatives, of God to the world.

In the next several posts, we will consider two areas where all Christians, and especially unmarried Christians, are tempted to live in ways which contradict their true citizenship. The first is having a worldly perspective about relationships with members of the opposite sex. The second is the temptation towards sexual immorality.

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Dangers of the Single Season: Pride

For the introduction to this series on temptations faced by singles click here.

Pride

As I have noted, a sin closely associated with envy is pride. In my pride, I think I deserve better than what I have, therefore, I envy the blessings others receive. But, there are other dangers when it comes to pride. Let’s turn our attention to these dangers.

There are two sides of the “pride coin.” One is what we typically think about when we hear the word pride. That is an arrogant, boastful individual. Perhaps you think there is no one good enough or godly enough or beautiful enough for you. You may not say it that way. You are simply looking for your “soul mate” or “the perfect 10.” Or maybe you are more modest and just want someone whom you think measures up to whatever you are on the “wonderful scale” (perhaps an 8.5?). Not just any guy or girl will do. You have your checklist.

It is not wrong to have standards for those you would consider marrying. The Bible even gives you some direction in this area, but the biblical checklist is actually pretty short. Basically, they must be a Christian who is evidencing true, saving faith and a member of the opposite sex.[1] Pride, however, adds more and more things to the list and makes the focus your own selfish desires (cf. Phil 2:3-4). Humility will seek biblical wisdom in deciding who to date and marry, but it also seeks to love another person in spite of his or her flaws.[2]

So, what we have just considered is the pride of arrogance or boasting. But this is not the only way pride is manifested. Here is how Pastor John Piper describes the different manifestations of pride:

Boasting is the response of pride to success. Self-pity is the response of pride to suffering. Boasting says, ‘I deserve admiration because I have achieved so much.’ Self-pity says, ‘I deserve admiration because I have sacrificed so much.’ Boasting is the voice of pride in the heart of the strong. Self-pity is the voice of pride in the heart of the weak. … The need self-pity feels does not come from a sense of unworthiness, but from a sense of unrecognized worthiness.[3]

Let’s think for a minute about self-pity. This type of pride boasts in pain. When you hear a married friend speak of his or her struggles with children do you begin to think, “I would love to have those problems instead of my loneliness”? Isn’t that just comparing one form of difficulty with another in a way that makes your own problems seem better (or really worse)? Such pride keeps you from “weeping with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15).

Or perhaps this pride comes out when a family member or church member tries to encourage you, and your thought is, “You don’t understand my situation.” And that might be true. Maybe they haven’t taken the time to understand. Maybe they don’t understand experientially, but wouldn’t a humble heart respond by listening and reflecting on what they say?

The solution is to begin by noting where you are struggling with pride. If it is boasting, recognize that every good thing you have is from God (James 1:17). Furthermore, the good traits you have are to be used for God’s glory and the good of others. Spend some time meditating on Philippians 2:1-7, and then look for and be aware of areas where you are looking out for your own interests above the interests of others.

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, ²complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. ³Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, ⁶who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, ⁷but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. (Phil. 2:1-7)

If your pride is in the form of self-pity, then realize that your weaknesses are intended to put Christ on display. The Lord told Paul that the weaknesses He gave Paul were intended to highlight God’s power and grace.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

Do you believe God’s strength is enough to sustain you in this trying time? Are you able to say that “for the sake of Christ…I am content with weaknesses,” knowing you will experience His sustaining strength? [4]

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.

[1] There are other issues that it would be wise to consider (ex. what are their goals in life? Do they have a track record of handling conflict biblically?). Also, if there is a previous divorce, there is more to be considered. A good article on this whole subject is “Should We Get Married? Five Pre-Engagement Questions to Ask Yourselves” by David Powlison and John Yenchko (found in the Journal of Biblical Counseling Vol. 14.3 Spring 1996. Also available in a booklet form from CCEF).

[2] Don’t misunderstand. I am not advocating dating or marrying someone who has serious, un-dealt with sin issues. A godly relationship is centered on God, and until individuals considering marriage deal with major patterns of sin, they will not be in close communion with God.

[3] Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist, pg. 302.

[4] For help in battling pride, check out Stuart Scott’s booklet From Pride to Humility or CJ Mahaney’s book Humility: True Greatness.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Dangers of the Single Season: Envy

For the introduction to this series on temptations faced by singles click here

Envy

Envy is very closely tied to discontentment. The heart that is not happy in God in tough circumstances will be prone to be jealous of others who it perceives have the coveted blessings. As Jerry Bridges describes it,

Envy is the painful and oftentimes resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by someone else. Sometimes we want the same advantage, leading to the further sin of covetousness. And sometimes we just resent the other person having something we don’t have.[1]

Such envy is often expressed in a disdain for those who have the blessings we want and a pride which causes us to think we are more worthy of such blessings than those around us. Envy keeps us from being able to “rejoice with those who rejoice” (Rom. 12:15).

Perhaps you try to avoid married family or friends so you won’t have to think about your lack of “marital bliss.”[2] Or maybe you make up excuses in order to avoid attending a good friend’s wedding because it will be too painful for you. Maybe you are tempted to envy what God has given them or to resent their marriage.

Proverbs 14:30 says, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” Envy has a horrible internal effect on us. It eats us up from the inside. The opposite of envy, the cure, is not a change in marital status. It is “a tranquil heart.” A tranquil heart is one which is at rest and peace. It isn’t clawing after what others have. The result is a freedom to really live and enjoy the life God has assigned to you.

How does one cultivate such a heart? We are free to be tranquil when we stop trying to play God. When we stop assuming we know better than God when it comes to how and when to distribute his gifts. Ultimately, the tranquil heart is one which humbly trusts the sovereign, wise, and good Father. That is what brings rest and life to the flesh (see also Ps. 131).

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.

[1] Bridges, Jerry. Respectable Sins, pg. 149.

[2] I understand that Christian love calls your married friends and family to be considerate of your thoughts and feelings. It is true that you will face insensitive remarks and be placed in challenging circumstances. You will need God’s grace to humbly and patiently respond.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Dangers of the Single Season: Discontenment

For the introduction to this series on temptations faced by singles click here

The first major temptation is that of discontentment. This is not unique to those who are unmarried, but it is often a temptation when a person seriously desires a good gift which God has not yet given. Discontentment arises when we fail to trust God with our desires and, instead, place our hope in changed circumstances. It becomes a more pronounced temptation the longer the undesirable circumstances continue. For example, you might have a good desire to be married. Discontentment enters when you start thinking “I must be married if I am to be happy.” And the longer your relationship status is “unmarried,” the more unhappy and ungrateful you become.

Discontentment usually manifests itself in a heart that complains, either directly or indirectly, against God when desires are not met. It is often accompanied by ungratefulness for the good gifts and sustaining grace God has given. This is deadly to the soul if left unchecked, for it involves a heart that is not totally satisfied in God and His provision.

Additionally, discontentment provides a poor testimony to those watching your life. As Andreas Kostenberger and David Jones write,

When singles display habitual discontentment with their present marital status, they communicate to a watching world that Jesus is insufficient for them or that perhaps he is incapable of meeting their desires.[1]

Before discussing how to resist the temptation towards discontentment, let me mention two things that are quite unhelpful. The first is coping. Coping is survival mode. It is seeing yourself as a victim, rather than as having a stewardship from God. It is just trying to get along until God finally brings you that special someone.

The person who is coping may try to pack his or her schedule so full that there isn’t ever time to think about a desire for relationship. And maybe this is even mistaken for contentment, but contentment is not merely survival. It is not dulling the pain until the relief of marriage comes. True contentment is not coping. It is thriving under the providence of God, even the hard providence of God. It is actively using the time and energy you have as a single person for “undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:35).

The second unhelpful thing is fantasy. You may constantly imagine how great life would be “if only I were married.” Or you may regularly drift off into thoughts about that ideal man or woman. Perhaps you read novels (even “Christian” ones) or watch movies and shows which feed this type of thinking.

Let me encourage you to put this thinking, and the things which feed it, aside (Phil. 4:6-8). You may think you are being content because you are not throwing yourself at every eligible bachelor or bachelorette that darkens the door of the church, but this is not the same as contentment. The “if only” thoughts will quickly lead to discontentment, and they will not stop after you say “I do.” Once you are married you will dream about a million other things: having children, a day when your children are not so needy, having time and money for vacations, retiring, being young again, etc. As Clint Archer wrote:

There is a lie that many people believe: that to be happy their circumstances need to change. If they are sad and single, they believe they will be happy when the nuptials are said. But you are the same person you were walking up the aisle as you are walking down it. If you are a discontent person, then you will soon transfer your discontent to your spouse. Discontent with a spouse quickly degenerates into malcontent. Then bitterness.[2]

You might be thinking, “But marriage is a good gift. It is not wrong to desire it.” To which I say, it is a good gift, but good gifts make terrible gods. Gifts are never intended to be where we find our ultimate satisfaction. When we start looking to created things to do what only God can do – namely satisfy our deepest longings and provide lasting joy – we will always be discontent.

Don’t let marriage become an idol in your life. If you are willing to sin to get it, or sin if you don’t get it (with discontentment for example), it has become an idol. That may seem like a big claim, but consider that if we are willing to sin against God in pursuit of something or someone else, then that thing or person is, at that moment, more important to us than God.

So what is the solution to discontentment? The greatest cure to discontentment is reflecting on the goodness and wisdom of God. When you are tempted to be discontent, ask yourself if you really believe God is good and wise in withholding the gift of marriage from you at this moment. If you are given to discontentment, I think you will find that, at least functionally, you have some doubts about one or both of these truths. Or, perhaps, you have begun to value God’s gifts more than you value God himself.

The good news is that contentment is something which we can learn. Paul said,

…I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need (Phil. 4:11b-12).

Then he tells us what the secret to contentment is: “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (v. 13). In Christ, he had all he needed to faithfully serve God and others. Thank God that He gives us the strength to be content, and in that strength, work on putting on contentment.

And what is contentment? As Robert Jones puts it,

It is having a satisfied mind in any situation. It is finding inner satisfaction in God alone and in His provisions for you…It is consciously enjoying the fact that God is good, even when your circumstances are not.[3]

Does all this mean you should not pray for God to provide a spouse? Not at all! God tells his children to come to Him with requests for His good gifts. What it does mean, however, is that we should pray with a satisfaction in all that God is, no matter what He gives.

[1] God Marriage and Family, pg. 197.

[2] “Why Isn’t a Pretty Girl Like You Married? Staying Stag Pt. 2.” Accessed at thecripplegate.com on June 15, 2013.

[3]“Learning Contentment in All Your Circumstances,” Journal of Biblical Counseling, Fall 2002, pg. 53.

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.