Dangers of the Single Season: Envy

For the introduction to this series on temptations faced by singles click here

Envy

Envy is very closely tied to discontentment. The heart that is not happy in God in tough circumstances will be prone to be jealous of others who it perceives have the coveted blessings. As Jerry Bridges describes it,

Envy is the painful and oftentimes resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by someone else. Sometimes we want the same advantage, leading to the further sin of covetousness. And sometimes we just resent the other person having something we don’t have.[1]

Such envy is often expressed in a disdain for those who have the blessings we want and a pride which causes us to think we are more worthy of such blessings than those around us. Envy keeps us from being able to “rejoice with those who rejoice” (Rom. 12:15).

Perhaps you try to avoid married family or friends so you won’t have to think about your lack of “marital bliss.”[2] Or maybe you make up excuses in order to avoid attending a good friend’s wedding because it will be too painful for you. Maybe you are tempted to envy what God has given them or to resent their marriage. 

Proverbs 14:30 says, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” Envy has a horrible internal effect on us. It eats us up from the inside. The opposite of envy, the cure, is not a change in marital status. It is “a tranquil heart.” A tranquil heart is one which is at rest and peace. It isn’t clawing after what others have. The result is a freedom to really live and enjoy the life God has assigned to you.

How does one cultivate such a heart? We are free to be tranquil when we stop trying to play God.  When we stop assuming we know better than God when it comes to how and when to distribute his gifts. Ultimately, the tranquil heart is one which humbly trusts the sovereign, wise, and good Father. That is what brings rest and life to the flesh (see also Ps. 131).

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.  

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[1] Bridges, Jerry. Respectable Sins, pg. 149.

[2] I understand that Christian love calls your married friends and family to be considerate of your thoughts and feelings. It is true that you will face insensitive remarks and be placed in challenging circumstances. You will need God’s grace to humbly and patiently respond. 

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