Moving
towards Marriage
If the relationship is progressing in a healthy, God-honoring way, then you should be moving towards the goal of marriage. Don’t
drag things on needlessly. Make a commitment.
You may be fearful of committing. You might wonder
if a better person may come along. Let me challenge you to evaluate your
thinking. Are you being self-centered in this thought? If this person is a
godly man or woman who is your friend and cares about your well-being, what
else do you need? Our culture has given us the idea that we must find “the
one.” The idea is that there is one person with whom we will experience some
amazing chemistry. But, when you look to Scripture you see nothing about “the
one” or about “chemistry.” You simply see Christians loving and serving one
another.
Don’t misunderstand. I am not saying you should move
into engagement and marriage if there are major red flags in the relationship.
Major sin patterns and ungodliness will not change with marriage. Additionally,
I am not saying you must marry someone you do not want to marry. You should
have a desire to be a husband or wife to
this individual. Deal with major
issues, but if there are not any, and you desire to marry this person, then
move towards marriage.
Men, this is again the place for you to exercise leadership.
Don’t wait for writing in the sky or some sign from God. Ask others who know
you and her well to help you evaluate things. If they do not have any biblical
reasons for you to put off marriage, then move forward. Ask her to marry you
and if she says, “Yes!,” then pursue premarital counseling from your pastor.
You may wonder why you should do premarital
counseling. I could give you a lot of good reasons, but let me just give you an
analogy. Many people spend four years of their life in college preparing for
their job. If we spend that much time preparing for a job, how much more should
we be willing to invest in preparing for marriage? I am not advocating four
years of preparation. I am saying you should meet with your pastor or a godly
man and his wife to learn what God’s Word says about the challenges you will
face in marriage.
Conclusion
Pursuing marriage is
not easy. There is not a biblical list of 10 steps to finding a spouse. Though
things are more complicated than they were for Adam and Eve, we have God’s sure
Word to direct us in our pursuit of marriage. In this chapter, I have outlined
a way of applying some of these biblical principles to the area of seeking a
spouse. May God give you wisdom and love to handle all your relationships in a
way which demonstrates a love for God and neighbor.
This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles
Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies.
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