That brings us to point number two. Every Christian,
no matter his or her marital status, must grow in a biblical sense of
masculinity and femininity. This may sound rather foreign in our egalitarian
society which says that there is no difference between men and women. Our
culture is quick to steamroll any distinctions between men and women because
they think differences mean inequality. But, we must think biblically on this issue.
In His wisdom, God has designed men and women to
complement
one another (not compliment- though that isn’t a bad thing
to do). That is, He has made them equal, yet different. Men and women are equal
in their dignity as humans (Gen. 1:26-27), their need and path to salvation
(Rom. 3:23, Gal. 3:27-29), and their ability to possess spiritual gifts (Rom.
12:3-8).[1]
Men and women are different in their roles. So what are the differences? Here is how
John Piper summarizes what the Bible says about mature masculinity and
femininity:
At the heart of
mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for
and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships. [2]
At the heart of
mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture
strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s
differing relationships.[3]
There is a lot packed in to these definitions. If
this is brand new to you I encourage you to read his chapter entitled “A Vision
of Biblical Complementarity” in the book Recovering
Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.[4]
In that chapter, Piper unpacks each of these phrases. For now, I will point out a few of the key differences.
Mature
masculinity is a responsibility to lead (Eph. 5:23).[5]
It is not a “right” but a weighty responsibility (Luke 22:24-27). It is not
self-seeking, but seeking what is best for those you are leading (Mark 10:45).
Mature masculinity is also providing for and protecting (Eph. 5:25, 28-29).
That involves taking initiative and not being passive. All of these things are
to be done for the women around you in ways which are appropriate to your
relationship with them (it looks different depending on if they are your
mother, sister, wife, etc.). When it comes to dating, you must be the one to
take the risk and try to initiate a relationship. When it comes to the
direction of the relationship, you must not simply “go with the flow” but
provide direction. When it comes to purity, you must lead her in holy
ways.
Mature
femininity is a desire to encourage and receive this
leadership, provision, and protection from godly men (Eph. 5:22). This means
you are not domineering, and you are not a doormat (1 Pet. 3:1-6). You are
active in responding to men in appropriate ways given your relationship with
them (father, brother, husband, etc.). In a dating relationship, you are not
submitting to him as you would a husband, but you are looking to see if he is
the kind of man you could marry and therefore submit to. You are affirming and
receiving his leadership in the current relationship.
This design of equality and distinction brings God
glory and causes men and women to flourish. Therefore, men and women must learn
how to biblically live out their God-given roles. Obviously there is a lot more
that could be said. I have not had the space to provide the biblical support
for this vision of manhood and womanhood. If this is brand new thinking to you,
I strongly encourage you to spend time studying this issue.[6]
This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.
[1]
Note, a woman can be gifted by the Spirit of God to teach. This does not mean
she should use this gift in a way which violates the Spirit’s clear directions
in Scripture for a woman not to be a teacher of the Word of God to men (see. 1
Tim. 2:12). She should exercise this gift in other, God-honoring ways (teaching
children’s Sunday school, teaching other women, etc.).
[2]
John Piper, in Recovering Biblical
Manhood and Womanhood, pg. 36.
[3]
Ibid., pg. 46
[4]
This is available for free download from www.desiringgod.org.
[5]
I realize many of these verses deal directly with the marriage relationship, but
as John Piper argues, these roles are ingrained into our natures as men and
women, and these desires and actions don’t just spontaneously generate once we
are married.
[6]
For more information on this, check out John Piper’s book or DVD series
entitled What’s the Difference: Manhood
and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible.
----
Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies.
No comments:
Post a Comment