How to Prepare for Marriage

If you've been keeping up with the sporadic posts in the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Directions to Singles, you have seen the meaning and importance of singleness in the biblical storyline and some of the temptations to be aware of in the single season. Now, we are entering into a third "section." In the following posts we will begin to look at how to prepare for marriage. You will find that much of this applies to singles who want to get married and those who do not have such a desire. 

I occasionally have young, single men ask me what they should do to prepare for marriage. Such a question encourages me. They want to honor God and serve their future wife. The funny thing about preparing for marriage is that it is, in many ways, nothing more than maturing as a Christian. So, in one sense, every single Christian is not preparing for marriage, but simply maturing as a Christian. That being said, there are also some thoughts which do apply more specifically to single Christians who desire marriage.

So, how do I respond to those who ask how to prepare for marriage? My response is five-fold. They need to:

1. Grow in godly character,
2. Learn biblical masculinity and femininity
3. Join and serve a healthy, local church,
4. Prepare to leave mother and father,
5. Seek a spouse in ways that demonstrate faith in God and love towards others.

The first three apply to every Christian, even if they have no desire for marriage. I will expand on those in this chapter and then look at the more practical issues related to preparing for marriage in the following two chapters.

Before I do that, however, let me mention that this is not a “five-step plan to marriage.” There is no such thing. God gives us no “steps” to marriage. Doing these things does not mean God will owe you a spouse. God’s grace and gifts are not something we work to earn. By definition they are undeserved. So don’t try to make God a debtor to you. He does not and will not owe you anything, but He does freely and mercifully show you His goodness. His mercies are new every morning whether they include a spouse or not. Do not take these five things as steps to get what you want or ways to manipulate God, rather see them as ways you delight in and honor God while trusting His sovereign, wise, and good plans for you.

Over the coming weeks we will look at each of the five points above in more depth. 

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