Affirming the Gender Binary is a Good Gift for Kids

Many proponents of transgender ideology continue to argue that children should not be raised as the gender that corresponds to their sex. In the transgender view, gender is not something decided for a person, but something a person decides for himself. In this view, then, we are forcing something on children by treating them as a boy or girl. But is that the case? Or is training a child to live as a boy or girl a recognition of reality (truth) that proves to be a gracious gift that God has given us (good)?

“In a culture where transgender identities are not only affirmed but celebrated, everyone will be compelled to construct their own gender identity, unaided by a common understanding of sex differences and why they matter.”[1] This “self-making” principle of transgenderism will prove oppressive to children. It will not help them find their place in the world. To illustrate this, imagine a person born into a world where transgenderism and the requirement to self-identify were taken at full face value. The ultrasound technician and the doctor could not tell the parents anything about their child’s gender (though, ironically, the child could only come into existence because a man and woman were involved at some point). The parents could not “impose” any gender on their child either. When identity is only a self-determined psychological category, the only way forward is to let the child decide. This “places a huge responsibility on the shoulders of the child (‘Only you can decide who you are . . . not even your own body can give any help here’).”[2] In practice, however, it might be that others are quite willing to shape the child’s view of themselves by pushing a transgender identity on them. Is it good to decide for a child, or even to let the child decide, to go on a sex-reassignment quest? [3]

Despite our culture's messaging, we cannot be anything we want to be. Such a notion is not true. It is not freeing to believe something that is contrary to reality. Rather, embracing reality and living in accord with it provides true freedom. It's like a train. A train is not freer by jumping off the tracks. It is free when it operates according to its design. The same is true of children (and all of us). Recognizing that the gender binary is true is a good gift for parents to give to their son or daughter. To muddy the waters of what is obvious is not good. It is confusing at best and damaging at worst. Children gain stability and freedom when we affirm the goodness of their boyness or girlness.


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[1] Ryan T. Anderson “Neither Androgyny nor Stereotypes: Sex Differences and the Difference They Make.” Texas Review of Law & Politics 24, no. 1 (Fall 2019): 262.

[2] Carl R. Trueman, The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2020), 377-378.

[3] A major hospital in Sweden has announced it will stop giving puberty-blocking drugs to minors (see https://thefederalist.com/2021/05/05/major-swedish-hospital-stops-prescribing-puberty-blockers-hormone-treatments-for-children/). In addition, a UK court ruled that children under 16 likely cannot give informed consent to such treatments (see https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-55144148). That is an understatement, but at least it was the right decision.