...some people in our culture want too much out of a marriage partner. They do not see marriage as two flawed people coming together to create a space of stability, love and consolation, a “haven in a heartless world,” as Christopher Lasch describes it. Rather, they are looking for someone who will accept them as they are, complement their abilities and fulfill their sexual and emotional desires. This will indeed require a woman who is “a novelist/astronaut with a background in fashion modeling,” and the equivalent in a man. A marriage based not on self-denial but on self-fulfillment will require a low- or no-maintenance partner who meets your needs while making almost no claims on you. Simply put—today people are asking far too much in the marriage partner.
He is not advocating marrying any person that seems interested in you. The Bible holds out certain important principles regarding who to marry. But, I think he is on to something.
In our culture, it seems that many godly young men and women who desire to marry are finding it harder and harder to get married. While there are many different reasons for this, I am willing to bet that in at least some of these situations it is at least partly to do with the fact that we have bought in to our culture's focus on compatibility, which often ends up being a disguise for self-oriented thinking.
Marriage is a covenant, a commitment to love one another for the glory of God and the good of each other. For the Christian, it is a commitment to put the gospel on display together (see Eph. 5). Self-oriented thinking will always get in the way of starting this type of relationship.
Perhaps this is not you, yet you strongly desire marriage. Don't sit around and feel sorry for yourself. Instead, seek to show love and service to those around you (even if you could never see yourself marrying them). I guarantee you won't lose anything in such an endeavor.
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