Analysis of the Supreme Court Decision

If you are looking for some insight into the details of the supreme court ruling (including the logic they used) and some Christian analysis, I recommend Dr. Albert Mohler's special podcast on The Briefing.

"Why the Church Should Neither Cave nor Panic about the Decision on Gay Marriage "

Here is a helpful article by Russell Moore (head of the Ethics and Religious Liberties Commission) on today's Supreme court ruling legalizing gay marriage for all 50 states. He is right it is not time to panic or back down.

A few quotes:

The Supreme Court can do many things, but the Supreme Court cannot get Jesus back in that tomb.

We must prepare for those, like the sexually wayward Woman at the Well of Samaria, who will be thirsting for water of which they don’t even know.
There are two sorts of churches that will not be able to reach the sexual revolution’s refugees. A church that has given up on the truth of the Scriptures, including on marriage and sexuality, and has nothing to say to a fallen world. And a church that screams with outrage at those who disagree will have nothing to say to those who are looking for a new birth.
We must stand with conviction and with kindness, with truth and with grace. We must hold to our views and love those who hate us for them.

"For the Fearful and Anxious"

Here is a helpful blog post at CCEF's blog written by Ed Welch on the topic of anxiety and fear.

"What Should the Church Say to Bruce Jenner?"

Here is a helpful article from Russell Moore on an issue that has been in the news recently. It is important that we think biblically on how to respond to the transgender issue.

Fighting Temptation

For the introduction to this series on temptations faced by singles click here. 

This is the last post on dangers of the single season. But don't be misled into thinking that we are done dealing with temptation. This side of heaven we will never be totally free of sin or from facing temptation. 

Fight Temptation

At this point you may be weighed down by all the ways you have given into temptation in your attitudes and actions. Or you could be congratulating yourself for how well you are doing in resisting temptation. Let me encourage you to avoid both of those responses.

We are to feel guilty over sin, but we are not to wallow in such guilt. We have a faithful and righteous high priest who lived the perfect life that God requires. He did this on our behalf! He died to pay the penalty for our sins. He is seated at the right hand of the Father to be our advocate. So, draw near to the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:14-16). Confess your sins and ask for renewed strength to live in light of the new life you already have in Christ (Rom. 6:1-14).

If you think you are doing well, give glory to God. It is Christ who is at work in you to do what God commands (Phil. 2:13). And remember that if you think you stand you should take heed lest you fall (1 Cor. 10:12). At some point you will probably be tempted in at least one of these areas. Humbly ask God to help you resist temptation.

In the past posts, I have given some specific ways to combat particular temptations. I want to conclude this section by giving a few general principles for battling all of the temptations I have mentioned so far.

First, Reflect on God’s Love for You in Christ

The gospel is where you most clearly see the sovereignty, goodness, and wisdom of God towards you. He sovereignly comes to show you His goodness through the wisdom of the gospel message. Understanding and believing the gospel generates a loving and humble trust in God which pushes sinful desires out of the heart.

This is not a one-time act, and it does not come naturally to our hearts. If you do not make this a conscious, ongoing effort, it will not happen. Plan to meditate on passages of Scripture such as:

Romans 8:32- He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

Ephesians 2:1-10- And you were dead in the trespasses and sins ² in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— ³ among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. ⁴ But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— ⁶ and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷ so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Titus 3:3-8 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. ⁴ But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, ⁵ he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, ⁶ whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, ⁷ so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. ⁸ The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people.

While meditating on such wonderful truths, begin to prayerfully and actively replace sinful behavior with a lifestyle that honors God. So, for example, think of ways to put off manifestations of pride and how to put on humility. There are many good books that address each of the areas of temptation mentioned in the previous posts. It may be helpful for you to ask your pastor or an older godly man or woman at your church to help you pick out some good materials. [1]   

Second, Benefit from Your Church Family
That brings me to my final point. Benefit from your church family. Even though you may be single with regard to marital status, you are not alone when it comes to fighting sin. God has placed you in a body of believers. Faithfully gather with a local church to worship God, encourage one another, and reach out to the lost. Share your struggles with a trusted Christian friend of the same sex. Ask for their accountability and encouragement.

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles. 

Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies.

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[1] For a fuller treatment on growing in godliness check out How Can I Change? By CJ Mahaney and Robert Boisvert and the CCEF mini-booklet Temptation: Fighting the Urge by Tim Lane (CCEF has other great mini-booklets on specific issues. Visit www.ccef.org).

Using Time Well in the Single Season

For the introduction to this series on temptations faced by singles click here. 

In the last post, we started to look at two areas in which we would do well to consider if we are to avoid regret (and more importantly to avoid disobeying God). Specifically, the area of worry and use of our time. We covered anxiety last time, so today we'll take a look at our use of time.

Failing to be Faithful in Regards to Time

Every ounce of energy and every moment of time is a gift from God. Being unmarried may provide you with more freedom over how you will use your time.[1] You have more flexibility as to how you will use your time. With this come temptations to squander the gift. There are two main ways of falling into temptation in this area.

The first temptation is that of being selfish with your time. Paul explicitly says that one of the benefits of remaining unmarried is that a person is free from the cares and responsibilities of fulfilling martial roles so that he or she can demonstrate the glory of God in another way (1 Cor. 7:32-35). That way is undivided devotion to the Lord. In other words, the single person has fewer specific requirements as to how he or she must use time and energy. But, do not mistake this for freedom to do whatever you want with your time. No, it is the Lord’s time (just as it is for the married person).

Perhaps you are really enjoying being single because you are able to do what you want to do when you want to do it. If what you want to do, however, is selfish, that is an unbiblical reason to stay single. Such an approach is the opposite of what Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 7. If your free time is only filled with leisure activities and lazy days then you need to ask God to give you more of a zeal for His Kingdom and ministry to others.

Now, don’t get confused by this and go to the other extreme. The other extreme is failing to be faithful to God by over-committing. This is saying, “Yes” to every request you get without examining how to use your time best to glorify God. Maybe you feel like every waking moment must be spent doing and going. However, this is not the biblical picture. This approach to life arises from either a fear of disappointing others or a disorganized life rather than an undistracted devotion to the Lord.

Let me give you some examples. Perhaps you become so busy working, vacationing, or even serving that you become unfaithful in your personal spiritual growth. Or maybe you fail to serve others well because you are investing in too many people at once. You are unable to really have an impact because you are stretched too thin. Or maybe you do so much that you never rest.[2] 

If you are struggling with your use of time, let me suggest getting a godly friend to help you evaluate your schedule. If you are being selfish, ask him or her to help you think of ways to serve God and others with your time and energy. If you are over-committing, ask him or her to help you evaluate your current commitments and make adjustments. You may even ask him or her to help you consider future requests that people will make of your time.

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles. 

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[1] This is obviously not the case if you are a single parent or are caring for aging parents.

[2] It is pride if you do not think you need rest. You are a finite creature, not the omnipotent Creator. Our need for rest humbles us by forcing us to recognize, in a tangible way, that we are dependent on the only One who is self-sufficient. It is fear of man if you know you need to stop and rest but fear letting others down if you say “no.” In this case, you care more about what others think than what God requires of you.

Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies.

Worry and Wedding Bands

For the introduction to this series on temptations faced by singles click here. 

Regret is a powerful word. It conjures up thoughts of loss, waste, and failure. While we all will probably have some sense of regret, I would hope to spare you it in the areas of wasted time and energy. Some of the greatest regrets that many older folks have revolve around past anxieties and poor stewardship of time and opportunities. Looking back on life it becomes clear that anxiety over the future actually sapped the life right out of the present – it wasted away strength and joy. It also becomes apparent that time wasted on unimportant things or being so busy that one could not focus on what really mattered devoured productive years of life and service to God. Let’s take a moment to look at the temptation towards anxiety and, in the next post, poor stewardship of time so that we might be equipped to resist them.

Anxiety and Fear Concerning the Future

Anxious thoughts can often present themselves in the following manner, “What if [insert some bad outcome] happens?” Fear takes that “what if…” thought and changes it into a statement such as, “I know this bad thing will happen, and I am fearful of it.” Perhaps you have found yourself tempted to worry and be fearful in this single period of life.

Maybe you are anxious that you will scare away Mr. or Miss Right. This leads you to constantly replay conversations you have had with potential dates and analyze everything that was said. Such anxiety ties you up in knots. Internally, you always feel nervous. Externally, you are not able to minister to those around you because you are so concerned with avoiding your worst fears – a further protracted state of singleness – that you are unable to genuinely care about those around you. Those of the opposite sex become either potential spouses or rejects rather than brothers and sisters to care for and serve with no strings attached.

Or maybe you are tempted to fear what the future will be like if the Lord never gives you a spouse. As a single woman you might be anxious about anything from how to take care of maintenance issues to who will to take care of you as you age. As a man you may fear lonely nights at home by yourself.

What is the cure? For starters, I would suggest reading Matthew 6:25-34 (though staring in v. 19 is a good idea).

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷ And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? ²⁸ And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹ yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰ But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹ Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.³⁴ “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

In this passage, Jesus speaks to crowds of people who had many “good” reasons to worry. For example, a drought could mean no food and subsequent starvation. This is not like today when we can just ship food in from thousands of miles away. But even in such a precarious spot, Jesus gives them better reasons not to worry. Take some time to read that passage and note the reasons He gives. For now, I want to look at the reason Jesus gives for why we worry.

The main reason we give into the temptation to worry is that we have “little faith” (Matt. 6:30). It is not necessarily that we have “no faith.”  What we need is a larger view of the God who cares. He oversees, in splendid fashion, the smallest parts of His creation. How much more will He oversee your life and care for you?  He knows what you need.

As the years go by and you remain single, you may be tempted to worry that you will never be married or have children. Realize that God’s plans are not thwarted by the passage of time; rather, all things unfold in His timing. So, do not be anxious, for which of you can add a wedding ring to your hand by worrying? 

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles. 

Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies.