Life in the Present Age

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Dangers of the Single Season: Keeping watch on your soul

As we continue to work through issues of singleness in the Christian life from a biblical perspective, I'd like to spend some time on dangers and temptations of the single season.

Changes in seasons bring many blessings. We can see the beauty of autumn leaves, feel the invigorating splash of cold air in the winter, enjoy the vibrant foliage of the spring, and bask in the radiant sun of summer. However, changes in seasons also can bring season-specific difficulties. In some places, summer brings dangerous drought or flooding. In other places spring brings violent storms. Each season carries unique blessings and dangers.

The same is true in the seasons of life. Times of old age and young age each have blessings and trials. The same is true of marriage and singleness. In this series of posts, we will spend some time thinking about a few common temptations faced in the single season of life.

Before diving in, let me give three quick caveats.

First, these temptations and sins are not unique to those who are single. All temptation is common to all kinds of people. The goal here is to look at a few areas of temptation which tend to be prevalent in a season of singleness.

This brings me to the next caveat; don’t think I am insinuating that because you are single you must be struggling with all these temptations or that you fit every example I give. I am simply offering some thoughts and praying God will help you evaluate your own heart on these matters. Since we all tend to have skewed views of ourselves, it may be good to have a trusted Christian friend help you in this analysis of yourself.

The third caveat is that the single season may be a permanent season. This is where the analogy of seasons breaks down. God, in His wise and good plan, may not give you a season of marriage. I say this because I don’t want to give you false, unbiblical expectations. I don’t want you to think, “If I am just really good God will give me what I want.” The point is to look at potential dangers and to seek to honor God by avoiding sin and putting on righteousness.

With these caveats in mind, let’s ask God to do His sanctifying work in our lives and look to His Word. In the next post, we'll look at the danger of discontentment.

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.

Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies.

"Why God Doesn't Remove Our Sinful Cravings Immediately"

If you have been a Christian for any length of time you have probably wondered the answer to this question because you have probably asked it. We who have the Spirit in use long for holiness, but our experience of holiness comes progressively and will not be fully realized until heaven. Why has God designed it so that we must battle sin until we reach heaven? JD Greear has a good, short article on it.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Thinking and Praying about the Same-Sex Marriage Case

Thinking about Same-Sex Marriage

Today, at 10am, the Supreme Court will hear oral arguments on the issue of same-sex marriage (here is a helpful article from Al Mohler on how the case got to them). It appears that the conclusion to this issue is forgone, yet we ought to be a people who pray for the good of our society out of a love for neighbor.

I would imagine that those reading this blog see that homosexual behavior is sin according to the Bible and that marriage is defined by God as a union between a man and woman. But perhaps you are tempted to think that we should stay out of the political discussions of the issue. If this is you, or if you are just trying to think through what is at stake, let me encourage you to read Kevin DeYoung's article "Why Not Gay Marriage?".

Praying for the Supreme Court

The final article I will link to is from Russell Moore, "Marriage and the Supreme Court: A Call To Prayer." It is a call to pray for the supreme court and our nation. Here are some excerpts.

But most of all, we must pray that, regardless of whether our land’s highest court recognizes the unchangeable or not, we will hold steadfast. We must love our neighbors enough to have the confidence of people who have heard a word from God and the compassion of a people who are on a mission with God. We must learn from our Savior, who was neither shocked by the Samaritan woman’s sexual sin nor afraid to speak a word of repentance to her conscience. “Woman, go get your husband and come here” is our model: an unashamed assessment of sin and an unrestrained invitation to come to Jesus.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Thinking about Our Use of Technology

Christians have always had think about how to best use technology to God's glory and in fulfilling our God-given responsibilities. Here are two short podcasts from "Ask Pastor John" featuring Bruce Hindmarsh on the topic. I found them interesting and hope you do as well. Who is up for some technology fasting?

How Facebook and Twitter Change Us
IPhone Fasting

Use that technology to help you think about technology my friend.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

You Have Good Reasons to Trust God with Your Singleness

There are many other attributes of God which if studied would give us hope. But with these three foundational ones in mind (sovereign, good, wise), we must draw the obvious conclusion: God is trustworthy.

Since God is Sovereign, Good, and Wise, He is Trustworthy

I hope you see how important theology is. Not just what we say we believe but what we actually cling to and functionally believe. This is not a “grin and bear it” theology. This is “trust His heart when you can’t trace His hand” theology. Jerry Bridges put it well when he said,

Trusting God in the midst of our pain and heartache means that we accept it from Him. There is a vast difference between acceptance and either resignation or submission. We can resign ourselves to a difficult situation, simply because we see no other alternative. Many people do that all the time. Or we can submit to the sovereignty of God in our circumstances with a certain amount of reluctance. But to truly accept our pain and heartache has the connotation of willingness. An attitude of acceptance says that we trust God, that he loves us, and knows what is best for us.[1]

So, what is your functional trust in God? Take some time to examine where your stated beliefs about God fail to match your actual (lived-out) beliefs. When you are tempted to question His sovereignty, goodness, or wisdom, turn your thoughts to Scripture, which affirms those very things. Stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself. Stop letting your mind run wild with thoughts which question God’s sovereignty, goodness, and wisdom, and, instead, remind yourself of what is actually true from Scripture.

If you are honest with yourself, I believe you will see some pockets of unbelief. I know that is true as I look at my life. When you see these areas, confess the sin to the Lord and thank Him that Jesus perfectly trusted the Father for you! His righteousness counts for you. Then, ask God to give you the grace to trust Him more and more.

Your whole Christian life is one of trusting in the sovereign, good, and wise Father. The season of singleness, whether it is short or a lifetime, is no exception. This is not a cliché when I say, “Trust God and put all your hope in Him.” Sometimes people say, “Trust God” because they just don’t know what else to say or because it sounds spiritual. In this context, however, I believe we have developed a good foundation to say, “Trust God.”

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.

[1] Bridges, Jerry, Trusting God, (Colorado Springs, Colo.: NavPress, 1988), p. 102.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Trusting Your Wise God with Your Singleness

Now we come to the attribute that completes the foundation for trusting God with singleness (and in any other trial we might face). (see previous posts on God's sovereignty and goodness).

God is Wise

As theologian Wayne Grudem puts it, “God’s wisdom means that God always chooses the best goals and the best means to those goals.”^{^[1]} This is the consistent testimony of the Bible (see Rom. 16:27, Job 9:4, Ps. 104:24).

This, too, is an area where our functional theology may differ from our stated theology. In a long season of singleness, we are often tempted to think our plans are wiser than God’s. We might not say that, but we reveal it as we complain and grumble when His wisdom doesn’t match ours.

In God’s wisdom, all things work together for the good of those who love Him (Rom. 8:28). Everything! Even an undesired season of singleness or the loss of a spouse through death or an unwanted divorce works for the good of those who love God. Those things may not all be good in and of themselves, but in God’s wisdom they are the best means to accomplish the best ends. The “good” ends are defined as God conforming us to the image of Jesus (Rom. 8:29). So, even our trials, because they serve to make us more like Christ, are wisely ordained by our Father.

This doesn’t mean we can never cry out to God in a trial with the words of the Psalmist, “How long, O Lord?” (Ps. 13:1). But it does mean we must not question His wisdom as if we know better. The Psalmist had honest questions that caused him to run to God. However, we, at times, hide behind questions which simply veil our bitterness and distrust of God. So, while we must run to God with questions, we must not turn those questions into accusations that we know how to run God’s world, and our own lives, better than He does.

When we really believe God is wise, we will find great encouragement. To quote Grudem again,

Every day of our lives, we may quiet our discouragement with the comfort that comes from the knowledge of God’s infinite wisdom: if we are his children, we can know that he is working wisely in our lives, even today, to bring us into greater conformity into the image of Christ.^{^[2]}

You might be thinking, “Yes, I want to be conformed to the image of Christ, but marriage would provide even more opportunities for that. Living with a fellow sinner would challenge my selfishness more.” It is true that living with a fellow sinner helps us see more of our selfishness. But the point is that God has not lost sight of the best means by which He will conform you to the image of Christ. For now, that is in a season of singleness. Besides, if you are living in true, biblical community, you will have plenty of opportunities to see your selfishness challenged by your brothers and sisters in Christ.

We must not question God’s wisdom as if we know what is best for ourselves. After all, do we see the beginning from the end? Do we know all things? Are we really in a position to know what is best? Only God is in such a position (Job 38-39).

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.

^{^[1]} Grudem, W. A. Systematic Theology: An introduction to biblical doctrine, pg. 193.

^{^[2]} Ibid., pg. 194.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Trusting Your Good God with Your Singleness

Two posts ago, I introduced the importance of theology in relation to how we think about our relationships (or lack thereof). Last time I briefly talked about the sovereignty of God. Now let's at the goodness of God.

God is Good

The Bible shows us that God is not only sovereign, but He is also good. By good I mean loving, kind, merciful, and gracious. God is not an autocratic ruler. He is the Father of those who belong to Him through Jesus Christ. And as a perfect Father, His heart is full of good things for His children. Jesus affirms this in Matthew 7:11 when He says, “ If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”

It is true that what the child wants is not always truly good at that moment. Just because a two- year old wants candy for dinner doesn’t mean that a loving father will give it to him. But my suspicion is that you have an easier time believing that than you do believing that God is really as good as He says He is. So let’s spend a minute looking at our temptation to doubt God’s ubiquitous goodness.

The temptation to doubt God’s goodness goes way back to a Snake in a garden who successfully convinced our first parents that God might not be as good as they initially thought. The doubt surfaces again in Israel’s history when God delivers them from their bondage in Egypt, and they quickly begin to wonder if God only freed them to let them die of hunger and thirst in the middle of nowhere (Ex. 16:2-3, 8). Later in the biblical storyline, we see that old Serpent trying the same temptation on Jesus when he says, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread” (Matt. 4:3). [1] Jesus had been in the desert fasting for 40 days. Matthew tells us that the Spirit of God lead him out there (4:1). So, Satan is basically saying, “God is your Father isn’t He? Has He led you out here and left you starve in this wasteland? That doesn’t sound like a good Father. Perhaps you should take matters into your own hands.” Thankfully, Jesus did not fail as Adam and Eve, Israel, or you and I have. He didn’t listen to the lies of Satan or prefer His belly over God.

Brothers and sisters, don’t fall for this questioning of God’s goodness. Don’t judge God’s goodness based on your timetable and your cravings. Instead, trust His goodness based on the greatest demonstration of mercy ever: the sacrificing of His Son in your place so that He might offer you His eternal joy by forgiving your sin. Romans 8:32 says, ^“[God] who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” He gave us the best gift! How could we doubt that He has kind intentions toward us? To quote pastor CJ Mahaney,

Your greatest need is not a spouse. Your greatest need is to be delivered from the wrath of God- and that has already been accomplished for you through the death and resurrection of Christ. So why doubt that God will provide a much, much lesser need? Trust His sovereignty, trust His wisdom, trust His love.”[2]

Look to the cross as the ultimate display of God’s goodness to you, and then trust that He is a good Father in every area of your life. God was not stingy in showing us His saving grace and goodness. Surely He will not be stingy in doing good to us all the days of our lives (Psalm 23:5-6). He doesn’t give His children stones to eat. You may hunger for the intimacy you think a spouse would bring, but do not allow this desire to cloud your judgment of who God is. He has given you Himself in Jesus Christ. He has not withheld the best gift in the universe, so do not doubt his goodness.

Now, if we stop here we have not gone far enough. If God were simply sovereign and good, He may desire to do what is best and be able to do what is best, but He may not know the best way to achieve His good purposes. Thus, we would still find it hard to trust Him in a trying time of singleness. So, let’s look at God’s wisdom.

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.

[1] The reason I say “the same temptation” is because Jesus is, in the temptation narrative, reliving Israel’s wilderness wanderings. The difference is that where they failed to trust the Father, Jesus succeeded!

[2] Quoted by Joshua Harris in Boy Meets Girl (Sisters, Ore.: Multnomah, 2000), p. 213.