Trusting Your Sovereign God with Your Singleness

Last time, I introduced the importance of theology in relation to how we think about our relationships (or lack thereof). Now let's look at some attributes of God to help us better trust God even in a time of undesired singleness. 

God is Sovereign

To say that God is sovereign means that He exercises supreme power and control at all times, in all situations, and over all things. I don’t have space here to provide all the biblical evidence for this, but the clear testimony of the Bible, from cover to cover, is that God supremely and powerfully rules over everything. [1] Nothing is outside of his control. Nothing! Not even evil and suffering. Lamentations 3:37-38 shows God’s control over the whole spectrum of life:

Who has spoken and it came to pass,
    unless the Lord has commanded it?
 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
    that good and bad come?[2]

My guess is that if you have been a Christian for any length of time that you have come to believe this fact about God. However, I wonder if you have functionally failed to apply this truth to your relationship status. Perhaps it comes out in a thought that wonders if you are still single because you missed that last singles’ event. I’m not suggesting we have no responsibility when it comes to finding a spouse; I am saying that God is sovereign over our current relationships and lack thereof.

Now, if we just ended our discussion of God here we would have a truncated understanding of Him. We would also probably fall into fatalism instead of trusting God. But, the Bible shows us that God’s sovereignty is not the same as fatalism, because God is also good and wise in His exercise of His sovereignty.

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.  

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[1] A good study on this topic is found in Jerry Bridges’ book Trusting God Even When Life Hurts.

[2] While God is not to blame for evil, He, nonetheless, is sovereign over it. That is a good thing. If God were not in control then we would have no reason to believe His promises, for they might at any moment be overcome by Satan’s evil plots. But, as we see in the first chapter of the book of Job, God rules even over Satan. As we see at the cross, God rules even over the greatest act of human evil, namely the crucifixion of the perfect Son of God (see Acts 2:23, which shows the guilt of the people and the sovereignty of God).

Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies. 

Trusting God with Your Singleness

This is part of the series God, Singleness, and Marriage: How the Bible Gives Purpose and Direction to Singles.  

“You just have to trust God with your singleness.” Perhaps you have heard that statement many times as a single man or woman. Maybe you think it is just a trite Christian expression and feel like it minimizes your pain. In one sense, you may be right. I don’t know the motives of the people who have said that to you. And you may be tempted to interpret the suggestion of “just trust God” as one that makes it sound like your situation is hopeless. But, it is my prayer that you will see that trusting God with your whole life is the path to joy. It’s not simply that you “just have to trust God,” rather it is that you have the profound joy of trusting your faithful Father God.

Why Believing Right Doctrine Matters

God is who He is no matter what our present life situation may be.  No matter what our marital status is, God is still God. His attributes remain the same. His right to rule remains the same, and His trustworthiness remains the same, even though our trust might wane (2 Tim. 2:13). Many of us assent to these truths, but, if we are honest, we are tempted to disbelieve them when life isn’t unfolding as we had envisioned.

This is precisely why it is important to spend some time, in a blog series on singleness, looking at who God is and examining our own hearts to uncover and battle against pockets of unbelief. If we are to glorify God and joyfully serve Him in singleness or marriage, we must see Him clearly and believe what we see. So, when I speak of God in these posts, I will say many things that you might intellectually affirm. However, you may find that you have functionally forgotten some of these realities when it comes to your thoughts regarding your marital status. I want to bring the reality of who God is to bear on your current circumstances. Specifically, we will look at God’s sovereignty, goodness, and wisdom as it relates to singleness.[1]

So, read these next posts carefully with a heart that humbly seeks to know and trust God more. In fact, maybe you should take a minute now to pray that God helps you to do that.

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[1] It would be good to spend time studying the attributes of God. I suggest The Knowledge of the Holy by Tozer or The Attributes of God by AW Pink.

Copyright Ben Khazraee. You may share this article with others, but please direct them to this blog rather than posting the text to your own website, blog, etc. You may share printed copies with friends as long as you do not charge more than the cost of producing the copies. 

Why is it Harder to Get Married These Days?

Tim Keller has an article entitled "You Never Marry the Right Person." His main point is that we are way too focused on "compatibility" in our culture. He writes, 

...some people in our culture want too much out of a marriage partner. They do not see marriage as two flawed people coming together to create a space of stability, love and consolation, a “haven in a heartless world,” as Christopher Lasch describes it. Rather, they are looking for someone who will accept them as they are, complement their abilities and fulfill their sexual and emotional desires. This will indeed require a woman who is “a novelist/astronaut with a background in fashion modeling,” and the equivalent in a man. A marriage based not on self-denial but on self-fulfillment will require a low- or no-maintenance partner who meets your needs while making almost no claims on you. Simply put—today people are asking far too much in the marriage partner. 

He is not advocating marrying any person that seems interested in you. The Bible holds out certain important principles regarding who to marry. But, I think he is on to something. 

In our culture, it seems that many godly young men and women who desire to marry are finding it harder and harder to get married. While there are many different reasons for this, I am willing to bet that in at least some of these situations it is at least partly to do with the fact that we have bought in to our culture's focus on compatibility, which often ends up being a disguise for self-oriented thinking. 

Marriage is a covenant, a commitment to love one another for the glory of God and the good of each other. For the Christian, it is a commitment to put the gospel on display together (see Eph. 5). Self-oriented thinking will always get in the way of starting this type of relationship. 

Perhaps this is not you, yet you strongly desire marriage. Don't sit around and feel sorry for yourself. Instead, seek to show love and service to those around you (even if you could never see yourself marrying them). I guarantee you won't lose anything in such an endeavor. 

What's with all the Media Frenzy over the Indiana Religious Liberty Law?

A lot has been said about the law signed by the Indiana governor. It is interesting that there has been so much media backlash and hostility given the fact that the law actually says nothing about LGBT  issues directly and especially given the fact that the law is already in place in 19 states and at the federal level (passed by the house and senate nearly unanimously and signed by President Bill Clinton in 1993).

For some good thoughts on the issue, check out Albert Mohler's podcast for today, March 31, 2015 and yesterday, March 30, 2015. 

Tongues and Prophecy

Last week we began looking at 1 Corinthians 14. Here is the handout I gave as an introduction to the topic of tongues and prophecy (I pasted a version below, but the format is better if you use the link). Join us tomorrow night as we begin to go through the passage in more detail.

I.                   Review of Spiritual Gifts Spiritual gifts glorify God and Jesus our Lord (1 Cor. 12:1-3), are given by the Spirit (12:6) who gives different varieties of gifts (12:4-6) to serve the common good of the body (12:7). Therefore, there is no room for boasting, but a responsibility to use the gifts for the glory of God and good of others (12:14-27). Believers will not all have the same gifts (12:27-30). Love is foundational for all Christian service (13).

II.                 Tongues The supernatural ability to speak languages unknown to the speaker.^[1] It is not gibberish or ecstatic, uncontrolled, or untranslatable sounds.

a.      Tongues are languages previously unknown to speaker:

   i.      The word translated “tongues” comes from the Greek “glossa” The word is used to refer to your physical tongue but often used to refer to what we call languages.

                                                         
   ii.      In the first appearance of the gift, in Acts 2:4-11, it is clearly foreign languages

           1.       Parallels between Acts 2 and 1 Corinthians 14 regarding tongues

                    a.       Both passages use the same terms “laleo glossa” – to speak a language

                                                           i.      Luke wrote Acts about 5 years after 1 Corinthians (Acts in 62, 1 Cor. 53-55?)

                                                          ii.      Seems that if he was trying to say what happened in Acts 2 was different, he  
                                   would use different words.

                    b.      Both passages refer to foreign languages (1 Cor. 14:10 and Acts 2)

                    c.       In both cases the tongues were translatable

                                                           i.      Since interpretation is required, it must be a language that is a decipherable.

                                                         ii.      The need to interpret shows it must be meaningful language, otherwise it is not
                                   interpretation that is happening but creation of meaning.

                   d.      In both passages unbelievers respond in similar ways to tongues

                                                            i.      Acts: they think they are drunk (Acts 2:13)

                                                          ii.      Corinthians: they think they are insane (1 Cor. 14:23)

           2.       It seems that Acts 2 and 1 Cor. 12-14 speak of tongues in parallel ways and therefore                           speak of the same thing.

b.      Some say 1 Corinthians refers to different kinds of tongues- categories such as “heavenly” or “angelic” language (1 Cor. 13:1)

         i.      Problem is that Paul seems to be using hyperbole there (cf. 13:2).

c.       Some say, "because tongues are 'only understandable to God' they are not real languages/human languages" (1 Cor. 14:2)

         i.      Context makes it clear that v. 2 speaks of uniterpreted tongues

             1.       Note the reason (for) he speaks not to men but God is given in the verse: “for no one                             understands him”

             2.       Why does no one understand him? Why does he utter mysteries in the spirit?

                      a.       V. 5b b/c it was not interpreted.

                      b.      And if tongues are not interpreted then it is true that only God knows what the                                       person is saying.

d.      How the gift is to be exercised

             i.      Interpreter required (1 Cor. 14:5b, 27-28)

            ii.      Self – control required (1 Cor. 14:27)

               1.        “If the allotted two or three have had their say, Paul expects the others to keep quiet,                             which confirms that the gift is not of the sort where the individual loses all self-                                   control.” ^[2]

          iii.      Not every Christian would be expected to speak in tongues. As 1 Cor. 12 makes clear there                 are a varieties of gifts.

III.                Prophecy “Prophecy can be defined as communicating revelations from God in a spontaneous utterance” (Schreiner, pg. 721 NT Theology). ^[3] It does not have to be inscripturated (i.e. Written in the Bible).

a.      It is revelatory- direct inspiration from God (1 Cor. 14:29-30- 29).

b.      Is NT Prophecy same as OT? In 1 Cor. 14:30 it says that prophecy in the NT is revelatory and therefore on the same level as OT prophecy (not a lesser or less authoritative)

c.       How the Gift is to be exercised

              i.      Tested for truthfulness (1 Cor. 14:29, just like prophets in OT)

             ii.      Self-control (1 Cor. 14:29-30)

IV.              Are these gifts still given today?

a.      Prophecy: Ephesians 2:19-20 

             i.      We know that new apostles won’t appear

              1.       When James was killed he was not replaced (Acts 12:2)

              2.       They were uniquely appointed for the early days of the church

                                          ii.      If the gift of apostle ended, then other gifts might have ceased too

                           1.       Including prophecy since Eph. 2;20 links apostles and prophets together.

                           2.       The early church didn’t have a complete word from God until the NT is done.

                           3.       So prophets and Apostles continued to function until that point.

b.      Tongues

              i.      There is a close parallel between Acts 2 and 1 Cor. 14, and in both passages tongues and                      prophecy are put together. If prophecy ceased it is at least possible tongues have.

             ii.      That said, tongues, speaking of a true language unknown to the speaker, is not happening                    today

                 1.       Linguist who have studied “tongues” have said there is no discernable pattern or code                           to be deciphered which would be key to language

                 2.       And often when it is practiced it is the opposite of what Paul says: Disorderly, Lacking                        interpretation, and Self-promoting rather than building up the body.

For a helpful, brief article see Tom Schreiner "Why I am a cessacionist" 

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[1] “the supernatural ability to speak authentic foreign languages that the speaker had not learned” (“Are Tongues Real Foreign Languages” in the Master’s Seminary Journal, 25/2 Fall 2014, pg. 66).

^[2] Carson, D. A. (1987). Showing the Spirit: a theological exposition of 1 Corinthians 12–14 (p. 119). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.

[3] Similarly see Jim Hamilton, “Prophecy is Spirit inspired, spontaneous, revelatory utterance.” (“What is Prophecy and Has It Ceased?” Accessed at jimhamilton.info)

Good Christian Podcasts

If you spend 5 minutes driving, you can benefit from a good podcast. Here are a few I have on my phone (not that I listen to them all regularly). I primarily listen to the first one on the list, but I do look through the other ones and see if anything catches my eye. Hope you find it helpful.

The Briefing (Dr. Albert Mohler) - ~15 minutes - A daily analysis of news and events from a Christian worldview. Great way to catch up on some news and to hear an example of how to apply a biblical worldview to thinking about what is happening.

Ask Pastor John (Dr. John Piper) - ~5 minutes - Questions and answers with Dr. John Piper on theology and Christian living.

5 Minutes in Church History (Dr. Stephen Nichols) - 5 minutes - Brief talks on church history: events, key figures, important places/dates.

Grace to You (Dr. John MacArthur) - ~30 minutes - Sermons from Dr. MacArthur. They are divided up so that over two podcasts you hear the entire sermon. Don't worry, they do a good job dividing them so it isn't confusing.

Do you have any podcast that encourage you in the Christian life? Feel free to share them in the comments.

Growing in Love

The Importance of Love

Over the past few weeks we studied 1 Corinthians 13. One thing that we saw in this passage is that we are citizens of a Kingdom that will, eternally, be characterized by love. It will not be characterized by spiritual gifts. As important as the gifts are for this present age, they will not last eternally.  So, we must grow in love. Ciampa and Rosner quote NT Wright in their commentary on 1 Corinthians when they write, 

the church must be working in the present on the things that will last into God’s future. Faith, hope, and love will do this; prophecy, tongues and knowledge, so highly prized by Corinth, will not. They are merely signposts to the future; when you arrive, you no longer need signposts. Love, however, is not just a signpost. It is a foretaste of the ultimate reality. Love is not merely the Christian duty; it is the Christian destiny. (pg. 652).

Don’t stop using the spiritual gifts God gave you (see 1 Cor. 14:1), and be sure you never lose sight of love. Make it your prayer and aim to grow in love. 

Growing in Love

Take these characteristics of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and pray through them.  Find ways you evidence a lack of love. Praise God where you see love.

Love is patient  - the capacity to be wronged and not retaliate^[1] or bear up under provocation without complaint.  In relationships in a fallen world we will be wronged.  True love isn't most clearly demonstrated at a nice romantic dinner, rather it comes out in how you live in the everyday experiences of frustration and being wronged. Will you respond with patience which is a fruit of love?

Love is kind- merciful- when I see someone struggling or even sinning against me I respond with mercy.

Love does not envy- Envy is to have intense negative feelings over another’s achievements or success.^[2]  
Love helps me get out of the business of building my kingdom and into building God’s.  This frees me to rejoice with others when they are blessed instead of envying them.  How do you respond when those around you receive a blessing? Do you think about how it never works out for you? Or, do you rejoice with them?

Love does not boast-  to heap praise on yourself.  
Do most of your conversations revolve around you?  This may be a form of boasting, even if it is the problems you are facing. Focusing on "me" is anti-love. Thinking my accomplishments or problems are greater than yours is boasting.

Love is not arrogant - thinking highly of yourself, puffed up.  
When someone corrects you, do often get defensive?  Why? Could it be that you are thinking you are too good to make a mistake or sin? This is not love, but pride.

Love is not rude- that is, it keeps me from behaving disgracefully.  
In tough circumstances I can respond gracefully instead of letting frustration rise up and result in rude words or nonverbal communication.  Do I give people cold shoulder when they upset me? Rude also entails inappropriate speech and actions. Do I speak or act in ways that are unbecoming of a follower of Christ?

Love does not insist on its own way 
Love makes me willing to lay my desires or preferences aside.  Do I always try to get others to do what I want (go to eat where I want, do things the way I do them)?

Love is not irritable- Love is not easily provoked to wrath. 
When someone fails to follow through love keeps me from welling up with anger.  Love desires to see that person change, but it is for their good and God’s glory.  When I stop seeing relationships as redemptive and start seeing them as something to make my life easier or more enjoyable, then I will want people to change to fit the rules of my kingdom, and I will be irritated when they don’t.

Love is not resentful. Love doesn't keep score of wrongdoing. 
I won’t bring up past unless it is for the other person’s good.  My true aim in bringing up the past is only to help them, not to use it as against them ammunition.  

Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 
This isn't the world’s version of love where I sit by silently in the face of falsehood or unrighteousness.  True love upholds God’s truth.  It doesn't rejoice when someone does something wrong.  Love doesn't rejoice in wrongdoing by gossiping or telling others about a person’s failure/sin either.  

 Love bears all things, believes all things,  hopes all things, endures - Love “remains steadfast in the face of unpleasant circumstances”^[3]
Think of Paul with Corinthians. He was enduring in the face of unpleasant circumstances in their church. He endured with them because he knew that God would not give up on those who are truly Christian. God is at work in them, forming Christ in them.  Love can endure because God is at work. Additionally, he responded to those that were not Christians with love because he knew that he once was in the same category as them. 

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^[1]Walvoord, John F. ; Zuck, Roy B. ; The Bible Knowledge Commentary : An Exposition of the Scriptures. Wheaton, IL : Victor Books,1983-c1985, S. 2:535

^[2]BDAG  S. 427

^[3]Walvoord, S. 2:535