Don't Date a Fool

 There are a lot of things we could say about what to look for in a potential spouse (which is to say, a person you would date). One thing you want to avoid is marrying a fool since "the companion of fools will suffer harm" (Proverbs 13:20).  Here is an excerpt from Joel James' mini-book HELP! I'm Confused about Dating, to help you recognize some character qualities of a fool (and thus avoid dating a fool):

“He who conceals hatred has lying lips, and he who spreads slander is a fool” (Proverbs 10:18). A fool tells lies and spreads slander, saying untrue or hurtful things to protect him- or herself or to get at others. If the person you are interested in has a lying or abrasive tongue, scratch him or her off your list immediately.

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel” (Proverbs 12:15). The fool is conceited, always thinking he or she is right. Thus, this person refuses to be corrected. Who wants to pursue a marriage kind-of-relationship with someone who refuses to admit he or she is wrong?

“A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother” (Proverbs 15:20). Fools often have bad relationships with their parents. If someone speaks disrespectfully to or about his or her parents (or treats them badly in any other way), stay away. How this person treats his or her family reveals how he or she will treat you once the facade of dating politeness is dropped.

“A fool’s lips bring strife, and his mouth calls for blows” (Proverbs 18:6). Have you noticed an increased level of conflict with your family and friends since you started dating someone? Is he or she often the vortex of those conflicts? Maybe you are dating a fool, because fools are always surrounded by a thundercloud of strife.

“The fool folds his hands and consumes his own flesh” (Ecclesiastes 4:5). The “folding hands” terminology connects this to the sluggard of Proverbs (6:6–11; 24:30–34). If a guy has never held a job, doesn’t carry through on responsibilities, or doesn’t work consistently before marriage, then he won’t afterwards, either. Walking up an aisle, mumbling “I do,” and then walking back down the aisle doesn’t transform a person’s character.

“Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel” (Proverbs 20:3). A fool often quarrels. Why would you want that in a companion?

“A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back” (Proverbs 29:11). Don’t kid yourself; eventually you will be the target of your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s anger.

Don’t let some good points blind your eyes to a person’s lack of true commitment to Jesus Christ. If you find yourself continually excusing your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s behavior, it could be that he or she is a fool. Call sin “sin,” and call off the relationship. In short, follow Solomon’s instruction: “Leave the presence of a fool.” (Proverbs 14:7)

We will be discussing relationships and dating at Thursday night Bible study over the next few weeks. I hope you can join us.  

Do Marginalized Communities Have Month Long Celebrations?

Carl Truman has an opinion piece at World called "America's LGBTQ Establishment: Pride Month Shows Who Really Has Power in America." In it, he discusses the month-long cultural celebration of pride, specifically in the form of sexual expression. Truman writes, "June, once the harbinger of summer sun and fun family vacations, is now a grim annual marathon for anyone who has hesitations about the orgy of identities and the exaltation of sexual expression that have laid claim to the mainstream of cultural life in America."

His main point is that pride month is not about civil rights or equality before the law. Instead, it is a flexing of power. The fact that there is a whole month in which businesses, politicians, and celebrities bow to pay homage to the sexual expressions of the LGBTQ community shows that the LGBTQ movement is not marginalized. As Truman points out, "If you are truly marginalized, you tend not to have months celebrating your existence." It's hard to see how a group can claim to be marginalized 11 months out of the year while having a month celebrating their viewpoint and denouncing any opposition to it (and the rabid support of the government, corporate America, and Hollywood for the entire year). 

How Should We Respond?

This isn't to say that we should respond with hatred. Christians love those who treat them as enemies. We do that by speaking the truth of the gospel in love. Romans one tells us that this celebration of sexual rebellion is, in fact, an expression of pride. It is an exchange of the Creator to worship creation (ourselves and others). All of us are born in this truth-suppressing condition, and the wages of this is the righteous judgment of God. The good news is that Jesus came to free us from the darkness and rebellion so that we can be forgiven and transformed from enemies of God into children of God. 

Besides sharing the gospel, we must also live as redeemed people. We must fight against our own pride, knowing that "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6). We must eschew hypocrisy (i.e., don't denounce LGBT deviances while excusing our own).1 We must deal with our own indwelling sins and tell others to repent and believe in Jesus. 

So, this June, let's celebrate the Lord as the Sovereign Creator by focusing on humility. We can highlight this to ourselves and others by making an extra effort to meditate on what the Scripture says about humility and faithfulness (Phil. 2, James 4). We can choose, by God's grace, to not live by our feelings or what the culture demands but by God's Word (Ps. 1, 119). We can faithfully fulfill our roles in our families, church, and civic life. 

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1. To be clear, hypocrisy is speaking against sin while coddling it in my own life. It is not hypocritical to call sin for what is while also struggling against it in my own life. 

Can We Have the Right to Liberty without the Right to Life?

This past Sunday marked the 50th anniversary since the Roe v. Wade decision effectively created a right to abortion. The intentional killing of unborn humans, boys and girls, was declared to be a right by the Supreme Court some 50 years ago. Over the 49 years that it was in effect, over 60,000,000 babies were legally killed in the womb. If we took 1 second of silence for each life lost, we would be silent for over 694 days. Thankfully, this past Sunday also marked the first time we could celebrate that Roe was not in effect for another year. But, while we celebrate, we have a lot of work to do. 

One job is to remember that each person has a God-given right to life. Vice president Kamala Harris was in Tallahassee this past week to give a speech about how we must make it legal for women to be able to have their children's lives ended if women are to be truly free. In her speech, she said that our nation's founding document (the Declaration of Independence) guarantees the right to liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But, glaringly absent from her retelling was the first right enumerated in that document: LIFE. 

We must ask, "Can we have a right to liberty without a right to life?" No, life is the foundational right upon which all others stand or fall. Abortion rights advocates, like Kamala Harris, have an unstated premise in their arguments. Namely, they believe that only a particular class of people have the right to liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It is only those who choose to allow to live. Those in the womb are in a different class - they are too weak, too small, too dependent, and too vulnerable to have a say in all this. So, these advocates conveniently leave off the right to life. For them, the conversation about rights is only for those who are strong enough to put their rights above those who do not have a voice. 

The declaration of independence rightly recognizes that the right to life is given to us by our Creator. In a culture that is increasingly hostile to the idea of a Creator, is it any wonder that life is devalued? As Christians, we have an essential job. We must remind people that God is the Creator and that he gives life. He has made all people in his image; thus, every life, no matter how small or dependent, is worthy of dignity and care. Our right to liberty is not some unfettered form of self-indulgence as our culture seems to think. That is nothing more than bondage and violence in disguise. Liberty is given so that we might respect life. As Christians, we point people to Jesus who alone can truly give us life, freedom, and happiness. 

A Resource

The Legal Docket Podcast (produced by the World News Group) had two episodes on "Overruling Roe." The first episode followed how the Dobbs case made it to the Supreme Court. The second episode, which I highly recommend, presents the case that was made.

This Summer: Learn to Apply Your Christian Worldview

 This is part of the series "Summer is a Stewardship." 

Introductory post, 

Focus on the Glory of God

Pick a Fight with Your Sin

Learn to Apply Your Christian Worldview

We all have a lens through which we see the world. This doesn't mean that reality is subjective. It means that we have a way we interpret reality and answer life's big questions. Whether we know it or not and whether we are consistent or not, we apply our worldview to help us understand the world, ourselves, and questions of meaning. Thus, we must get a better handle on the biblical outlook on life and work to apply that worldview consistently to news, entertainment, ethical issues, and our goals. 

Work on thinking biblically about all of life this summer. When the Fall semester flurry of activity begins, you will be hit with all sorts of news, information, ethical claims, and temptations towards folly. Now, not in the midst of the storm, is the time to prepare. 

Let me encourage you to consider a few "daily" resources to assist you in that.

Christian music that focuses your mind on truth. 

Music (and arts) can profoundly shape how we view the world. This is good when they align with truth and not good when they align with worldly philosophies. So, find some good Christian music to tune your heart to see the world and God's kingdom as it is. A few suggested artists: Sovereign Grace Music, Gray Havens (for those who like folksy music), City Alight, Shane and Shane, Matt Boswell, and many more. 

News from a Christian worldview. 

Mainstream media seems like propaganda for the respective sides in the cultural war. I found the World News Group, specifically their podcast "The World and Everything in It," to offer meaningful news from a biblical worldview and absent all the hysterics. Al Mohler's podcast "The Briefing" also covers news from a Christian worldview (but he generally covers a few topics from the headlines rather than being a complete news service). 

And the most essential resource - The Bible. 

Read your Bible daily and let its truth renew your thinking, priorities, and interpretations of life. Think about how what you read applies to your life, explains the world around you, and directs your ethics, goals, and priorities. The Bible shapes how a citizen of God's Kingdom sees the world. 

This Summer: Pick a Fight with Your Sinful Tendencies

This is part of the series "Summer is a Stewardship." 

1. Introductory post, 
2. First post. 

Pick a Fight with Your Sinful Tendencies

Our ultimate goal is to love God more and look more like our Savior. Unfortunately, our sin gets in the way of these desires by clouding our vision of God and causing us to not live in line with our new identity. Thus, every Christian wants to put his or her sin to death (John 14:21). We sin, but we hate it and repent of it. 

So, pick a fight with at least one of your sinful tendencies this summer. 

Confession and Repentance

The first step in initiating the fight is to call the sin out and side with God against it. This is confessing (that is, agreeing with God that it is wrong, foolish, and terrible). The second step is to ask God to help you fight the sin. The third step is to repent of it. This is to actively turn away from the sin and what tempts you towards it. It involves not just changes in action but in your heart. To help you do this, you might listen to this sermon by Bruce Ware on how a renewed affection for God pushes out old affections for sin. Or you could read Thomas Chalmer's sermon "The Expulsive Power of a New Affection" (click here for a pdf version for free, or buy a book version from the bookcase in the fellowship hall). Finally, part of repentance involves finding biblical truth that replaces the wrong thinking and desires and memorizing it. If you need help with this, enlist the help of a Christian friend. 

Develop New Habits

One more thing that will help in this fight. Begin new habits that will help you. Our habits are the things we do without much thought because it is what we've always done. This can be good when the habit helps you pursue Christ (for example, daily Bible reading). But, when it is something that often opens the door for sin (like laziness, overindulgence in entertainment, or checking social media incessantly), that habit hinders godliness. What habits are not helping you put on Christlike thinking and living? What habits are making provision for your enemy? "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires" (Romans 13:14). Developing habits takes time and consistency. Ask a friend to keep you accountable and find a way to track how you are doing in developing the new habit. 

Fight While You Have Time

So, you should fight sin vigorously this summer. Don't struggle through the summer and come back expecting to not struggle when school starts. The reality is you will likely still struggle and be pressed for time when the semester begins. And you need time to think and develop godly plans and habits. So, pick a fight with one of your sinful tendencies this summer. 

Celebrating Dobbs. Pressing the Case for Life.

Dobbs, June 24, 2022.

We will remember that name and date for a long time. In the Dobbs case, the Supreme Court corrected the grave and unconstitutional injustice of legislating abortion from the bench. On June 24, 2022, the Court returned the issue to the people and our elected representatives. 

This means that Dobbs is something we must celebrate. 

As those who believe God is the source of all morality, we must celebrate what he says is good and right. God has made every person (regardless of his or her size, location, level of development, or degree of dependency) in his image. Thus, we must celebrate laws that protect innocent life and rulings like Dobbs. The Dobbs case now allows us to argue for such laws without them being immediately overruled.  

This means that Dobbs is not the end. It is the beginning. 

It is like D-day in WWII. It opened up the battlefront and allied advance. But, it was not VE-day that marked the end of the war. Victory required much more fighting. So, we must now engage even more than ever in persuading our neighbors, ministering to those contemplating abortion, and calling on our legislators to pass laws to protect the most vulnerable class of people. We have been doing that, and now we engage in it with greater urgency because there is greater opportunity. 

Here are a few resources that I encourage you to take advantage of (they are free).

• Scott Klusendorf's book The Case for Life (note there are many other articles and resources available at that link too). 
• Scott Klusendor's Article "How to Defend Your Prolife Views in 5 Minutes" 
• RC Sproul's book Abortion: A rational look at an emotional issue

If you have any questions that your friends are asking that you'd like answers to, email me at ben@gcot.org. 

This Summer: Focus on the Glory of God

This is the second part in the series "Summer is a Stewardship." Click here for the first post.

As we seek to steward our summer, the first thing you must do is aim to glorify God in all that you do. This begins by meditating on God's greatness: His attributes and acts. 

This is not something distinct from growing in your faith. Romans 4:20-21 says of Abraham, 

No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. 

Notice the way he grew strong in his faith. It was "as he gave glory to God." Glorifying God grows your faith in him. Why? Because in glorifying God, you are exercising the muscle of faith. That is, you believe his promises (which glorifies him). And this exercise of faith does what physical exercise does for the body: it produces greater strength.  

And to know God's promises and character (for what are promises if you don't know the character of the one making the promises?), you must be in God's Word. Read Psalm 103 or Isaiah this summer. Perhaps you could pick up a book on the attributes of God (like AW Pink's little book on the attributes of God) that will pull out various passages of Scripture to meditate on. (Here is a link to a post on methods for meditating).

One more thing to help you with this. Take time to curate the kindness of God. Write down or mentally recall things to thank God for: his sustaining grace in a trial, strength to overcome temptation, an enjoyable experience, etc. This is a means of glorifying God and will cause you to grow strong in the faith (which will glorify God).