Your College Years Will Fly by: Don't Waste the Opportunities

Each stage of life has unique opportunities and challenges. Our fallen human nature often leads us to always look forward or backward rather than to enjoy and use what we have in the here and now. Your college or young adult years are no exception.

Wise is the person who takes stock in each season of life. Evaluating the opportunities and adjusting things in your life to accommodate new responsibilities is essential but often overlooked. If you don't evaluate how to play to each season's opportunities and responsibilities, you will likely look back with extra regret as you get older.

These are the years in which your ability to think and reason is blooming. Your body is usually healthy and full of energy (despite how tired you often are). Your schedule is full, but you have fewer responsibilities than you will have in the future if you get married and have kids. You likely have a broader array of relationships through your connections at school, work, and social engagements. The question is, how can you maximize the opportunities you have to foster your own growth in Christ, the good of the church family, and the good of unsaved neighbors.

So, I want to spend a few posts on this topic. I specifically want to encourage you to think of the opportunities you have in the areas of (1) evangelism, (2) discipleship, and (3) spiritual growth. Take some time to think of your unique opportunities in your current stage of life (this exercise works well no matter what stage you are at).

For Your Own Soul, Plan to Join a Church in College

A LifeWay Research study showed that 66% young adults who regularly attended church in high school stopped regularly attending church for at least 1 year between the ages of 18-22.1 Many factors might contribute to that trend.  For my purpose, I want to address the issue of those who are genuine believers and heading off to college who are a bit neutral on the importance of being regularly with the church.  There are two main things I want to say to those in that category.

First, joining a church body is healthy for your soul.  

One reason is that it is how the Lord will work to keep you trusting in him.  Hebrews 3:12-14 states, 

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. 13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. 14 For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.

What is the way we avoid being hardened by the lies of sin?  How do we recognize that the allure of the flesh and world are dead-ends when they look so promising?  By exhorting one another every day.  In other words, the means by which God sovereignly preserves us from spiritual destruction is by giving us a desire to regularly be with the family of God.  Don't resist that desire, instead cultivate it.

Another reason it is healthy for your soul is that you were made to function in the family and body of Jesus.  Think of how often the New Testament speaks of Christians as "brothers and sisters."  This is not just a verbal tick.  It is a reminder that we have a bond with fellow believers that requires family loyalty and love towards one another.  It is in this social context that we do the work of Christian love and community.  We meet needs. We encourage one another.  We correct one another. We rejoice with one another.  We weep with one another.  This all happens as we are around one another and in the body with Jesus as our head. 

All of this entails membership in the family or body of Christ.  Just as no family member or body part is only loosely connected, so, too, no believer is to remain loosely connected to the church (i.e., anonymous, uninvolved, or uncommitted).  What if your liver suddenly decided it didn't want to be connected to the rest of the body or that it was too busy to do its part?  Each member is made to function together.

Second, make a plan to attend and join a church.

This is the second main thing I want to say.  Many genuine Christians come to college with ideas of joining a church, but then life happens.  They get busy, and they establish new habits which don't include regularly gathering with the church family.  It is not unusual for me to meet a college student who is a senior, and who tells me that he had planned to join a church.  Here it is 3 years later, and he is just now following through.  He regrets the wasted time.  How many corrections, encouragements, and family meals (communion) he missed?  How many opportunities to do good to the household of faith were announced that he never heard?  I am glad these students desire to reunite with their spiritual family, even it is a bit late in the game.  So, if you are in this category, it's not too late, even if it is later than you planned. As they say, "better late than never."

A quick word on habits.  Habits are intentional and regular practices used to direct our lives to the things we value most.  They are more than good intentions.  When you move for school or find that you can set up new habits, be thoughtful.  List what God wants your life directed towards.  Then add other things that you desire.  After that, plan practices which will lead your life towards these goals.  This takes mental effort and self-discipline.  You won't coast into good habits.  If you want to be an excellent musician, you must plan and discipline yourself.  You must develop practices to direct your life towards that end.  As a Christian, you will want to be like Christ and to love and serve his church - the ones he loves.  So, make gathering with the church a regular habit!


1. The question was asked, "Did you stop attending church regularly (twice a month or more) for at least a year between the ages of 18 and 22?"  (This was asked to young adults age 23-30 who attend protest church consistently for at least 1 year in high school).

Responsibilities of a Church Member: Exercise Humility to Maintain Unity

In Philippians chapter 2, Paul writes

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.

Paul is happy if the church at Phillipi is unified in their thinking and love. He does not mean that they would be cookie-cutter Christians. He doesn't intend for all of them to think the exact same way about everything. What does he mean?

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus... (Philippians 2:3-5)

He wants them to have a mindset of humility. The thinking that unites them is a humble mindset - a Christlike mindset. 

As church members, we are responsible to exercise humility.  Humility is like a muscle.  You apply it every time you put the interests of others ahead of yourself.  So, if you want to grow in humility, you need to look for opportunities to serve others and prefer them. 

Practically, when the church has an event that you'd prefer not to attend, perhaps you should see it as an opportunity to exercise humility.  Prefer the other believers who you will be able to see, encourage, and serve.  When another believer talks about something you are not interested in at a fellowship dinner, after service, or at a Bible study, you can exercise your humility muscles by disciplining yourself to listen.   You can attend a Bible study or fellowship event even if your best friend won't be there because you aren't thinking first of yourself, but primarily of how you can encourage others.

How do you motivate such thinking, though?  The best way to facilitate humility is to put on Christ's mindset as your own.  Philippians 2:5-8 tells us to do this.  It mentions that Christ put himself below others to bring them up.  He did not hold on to his rights and prerogatives.  He was willing to lay them aside to serve others.  You might think you have the right to avoid relating to difficult people.  But the mindset of Christ doesn't leave room for that.  So, think about Christ and his humbling himself by becoming a man and then dying on the cross for you.  Then incorporate that mindset into your thoughts towards the church. If Christ wasn't too good for it, then neither are we.

Related to this, you can make progress in this sort of unifying humility by thinking of the church as your family.  You can remind yourself that this is your brother or sister in Christ, one for whom Christ died.  Just think of how often the Scripture speaks of Christians as "brothers and sisters."  Just like a family, we don't put our own needs and desires ahead of others.  Instead, we look to serve the interests of others.

I'll bring this to a close, but think of how many areas of church life this principle affects.  Song selection (the older like this...the young like this...both prefer the other), what type of events are planned, how we use our time, etc. Humility promotes unity in every area of church life.  So, let's exercise humility. 

Free Ebook - "12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You"

Crossway is offering Tony Reinke's book 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You for free (well, you have to do a brief online survey - there is no such thing as a free lunch).  Here is the link to the survey.

If you haven't read this book, I encourage you to make time to read it.  It is insightful, helpful, and full of wisdom.  Reinke applies biblical principles to technology usage in a way that is humble and not legalistic. 

"An Open Letter to the Church on Singleness"

Sam Alberry has a short, helpful letter (at crossway.org) reminding us why the Bible's teaching on singleness is important for the whole church to be aware of.

His three reasons are

1. The Bible's teaching on singleness is given to the whole church (1 Cor. 7)
2. Most who are married will one day be single again prior to heaven
3. The local church is a body. 

It is this last point that is most helpful. He writes,

We’re a body. So what happens to some of us, therefore, affects all of us. When I stub my toe, it is not just my toe that suffers, I suffer. If some of us in the church are struggling, it hurts all of us. We’re invested in one another, therefore I need to know what the Christian life is like for you in your situation, and you need to know what it’s like for me in mine.

He goes on to say that this implies that singles ought to be concerned about healthy marriages and married folks ought to be concerned about seeing healthy singleness in the church family.  

He is right in writing this.  The metaphor of the church being a body indicates the need for a common concern and investment in the lives of one another.  Marriage and singleness are not who we are, but our marital status is a significant experience and provides direction for how we will honor Christ. 

May God grant us to have genuine love, fellowship, and humility so that we might know one another and spur one another on in the faith.

Funerals "Becoming a Relic," But Death is Not

A few weeks ago, I preached on Psalm 49 and entitled the sermon "Everyone Dies, Even You." Kind of gloomy, but it is a reality. Shortly after that, Doug saw an article from the Washington Post Style Section entitled, "The funeral as we know it is becoming a relic — just in time for a death boom."

Karen Heller writes that

"end-of-life ceremonies are being personalized: golf-course cocktail send-offs, backyard potluck memorials, more Sinatra and Clapton, less 'Ave Maria,' more Hawaiian shirts, fewer dark suits. Families want to put the 'fun” in funerals.' 

In fact, Heller begins with an example of a"Memorialpalooza" for a famous person who recently died. The party at a renowned theater with gift bags, baseball hats, a famous hotdog cart, and stand up comedy.

As Christians, we must think, live, and die in line with the truth.

The truth is that while funerals and dirges become "relics," death does not. Heller points out the reality of death when she writes, "Baby boomers, despite strenuous efforts to stall the aging process, are not getting any younger. In 2030, people over 65 will outnumber children, and by 2037, 3.6 million people are projected to die in the United States, according to the Census Bureau, 1 million more than in 2015, which is projected to outpace the growth of the overall population." No change in how we mark death will change the reality of dying.

The truth is that death is an enemy and sad reminder of the brokenness of the world. Christians should, like Jonathan Edwards, resolve "to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death." We recognize death is a reality, but this doesn't mean we celebrate death. It is an enemy. We don't celebrate the death of another person with entertainment that is designed to distract from the brutal reality of death. Of course, in the case of a Christian who dies, we do not grieve as those who have no hope. We grieve, but with a profound sense of confidence and even a subdued joy. Confidence because death is a defeated enemy for the Christian. Joy because to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.

When our culture tries to ignore death, we must remind them that it is a reality and one which ought to call them to do some soul- and truth-searching. Why do we die? Why are we alive? Such existential questions must be faced head-on. Instead, many in our culture push aside such questions with entertainment in life and, now, in funerals. As Christians, we answer big questions based on what God has revealed in his Word. Death is an enemy. It will remove all that you set your hope in unless your God is your shepherd.

Psalm 49
Hear this, all peoples!
    Give ear, all inhabitants of the world,
2 both low and high,
    rich and poor together!
3 My mouth shall speak wisdom;
    the meditation of my heart shall be understanding.
4 I will incline my ear to a proverb;
    I will solve my riddle to the music of the lyre.

5 Why should I fear in times of trouble,
    when the iniquity of those who cheat me surrounds me,
6 those who trust in their wealth
    and boast of the abundance of their riches?
7 Truly no man can ransom another,
    or give to God the price of his life,
8 for the ransom of their life is costly
    and can never suffice,
9 that he should live on forever
    and never see the pit.

10 For he sees that even the wise die;
    the fool and the stupid alike must perish
    and leave their wealth to others.
11 Their graves are their homes forever,
    their dwelling places to all generations,
    though they called lands by their own names.
12 Man in his pomp will not remain;
    he is like the beasts that perish.

13 This is the path of those who have foolish confidence;
    yet after them people approve of their boasts.[b] Selah
14 Like sheep they are appointed for Sheol;
    death shall be their shepherd,
and the upright shall rule over them in the morning.
    Their form shall be consumed in Sheol, with no place to dwell.
15 But God will ransom my soul from the power of Sheol,
    for he will receive me. Selah

16 Be not afraid when a man becomes rich,
    when the glory of his house increases.
17 For when he dies he will carry nothing away;
    his glory will not go down after him.
18 For though, while he lives, he counts himself blessed
    —and though you get praise when you do well for yourself—
19 his soul will go to the generation of his fathers,
    who will never again see light.
20 Man in his pomp yet without understanding is like the beasts that perish.

"Hope for Lousy Evangelists"

As we approach our focused celebration of the resurrection, we might find more opportunities to share the gospel. I found this podcast episode  "On Overcoming Fear in Personal Evangelism" to be encouraging. It is from the "Pastor's Talk" podcast (by 9Marks), but it is not aimed mainly at pastors.

Here is the description of the episode:

As Christians, we know we should share the gospel, but many of us feel discouraged—either about our lack of evangelism, or the lack of fruit from our evangelism. What can we do about this? Where can we lousy evangelists find hope?